Online Dating Safety
What are some safety tips for online dating sites?
Safety tips while you're online are slightly different from safety tips when you're actually dating someone you met online, but the same basic rules apply. Use your common sense. Don't give out your name, don't give out your home address, don't give out your phone number, until you've really screened someone and feel comfortable you know who they are, what kind of person they are, and whether they're going to be someone you're going to want to spend some time with. Online safety is also a lot like safety in general. How many times have you said to yourself, "I knew I shouldn't have done this," or, "Why didn't I listen to my gut?" That's what we say for safety while online dating. Listen to your gut; it's always right. The wonderful thing is that you don't have to justify it to anybody. They're at another computer somewhere else. Anything - even if you can't really figure out why - that doesn't seem right, either stop corresponding or don't reply to that email. You are in control and you have the power in online dating.
Can I use my regular e-mail address for online dating?
For online dating, you don't want to use your regular e-mail address for many reasons, mostly because you want that e-mail address to be disposable. Eventually you will meet your mate online, and you want to be able to stop using that e-mail address.
Is it okay to post my phone number on my online dating profile?
The short answer is that it's never okay to post your phone number on your online dating profile. Use the technology to stay safe and be convenient, and use e-mails instead of the phone, until you initiate a correspondence. Then it's fine to call, but do not put your phone number in your online profile.
Do online dating site perform background checks on their members?
Most of your major online dating sites will tell you upfront that they screen their members for safety, and will follow up with you if something unsafe has taken place with one of their members. You need to look at the terms and conditions on your online dating web site to see if they offer that service. You want to make sure that they do.
How do I know if I'm dealing with someone dangerous on an online dating site?
You can't know in advance whether someone is a dangerous person, but you can take certain safety precautions. Screening is essential in life, but you can do it particularly well in online dating. You want to email back and forth - we can't say it enough - to screen people, to ask them questions, to try to trap them in lies. If they're not lying, it's great, you've just got a lot of answers to questions, but if they are lying, you'll trip them up somewhere. Get a lot of detail about people. Ask them what they do on weekends, ask them what they did last weekend, find out where they went to school, find out where they grew up. Most importantly, Google them. If they are a dangerous person, or at least have been in the past, you're likely to find something about them. Screening is essential for online dating safety.
Is it true online dating can be safer than traditional dating?
Sometimes it seems as though online dating can be safer than regular dating. It's because everything's in writing. You haven't even met the person yet, and you've got their photograph, you've got an email correspondence, you've gone back and forth, asking all kinds of questions, so you really have an opportunity to screen out whether there's something not quite right about this person, or whether there's something that just doesn't match up. You have a great opportunity to use your own gut to figure out whether this is the right person, and that's what makes online dating safer.
What are some online dating safety tips for a first date?
In our seminars, our students always want us to provide safety tips for when they go on that first date with someone they met online. We tell them: online dating is no different from any other form of dating. The first time you meet someone you don't know very well, there are classic safety tips that you follow. We asked our classes: see if you can name them, and they always can. They're the obvious: always meet in a public place and arrange your own transportation. Those are two of them, there are eight more, and I'm sure if you sat down and thought you could name them yourself. We're talking a lot about safety in the first date with someone you've met online, and they're all good tips, but don't forget to be creative and have fun. Don't be scared. One way of being creative is to kind of think outside the box. For example, you can have a lot of fun and be safe on a first date, by making it a double date. For example, tell your friend, "Hey, I've been meaning to go to this museum (or this wine bar or this music festival) with some friends of mine. Would you like to meet us there?" Your friends, or another couple, are added perspective, so they're there with you, you're having fun, you don't have to worry about that awkward first date conversation. Be creative and have fun with online dating, while staying safe.