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Parenting And Encouragement

 
Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
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  • How does encouragement help my child?
  • How do I encourage my child?
  • How do I encourage my child if he is failing at school?
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Child Behaviour & Communication
 Childhood Sex Education 
  1. Dr. Charles Sophy
  2. At what age do children become "sexually aware"? 
  3. Should I discuss sex with my child? 
  4. At what age should I discuss sex with my child? 
  5. Which parent should talk to a child about sex? 
  6. How do I begin discussing sex with my child? 
  7. What can I do if I just can't discuss sex with my child? 
  8. What facts about sex do I need to discuss with my child? 
  9. What are some common misconceptions that my child may have about sex? 
  10. Will sexual education promote sexual activity in children? 
  11. Will school teach my child everything he needs to know about sex? 
  12. Should I discuss "abstinence" with my child? 
  13. Should I discuss "contraception" with my child? 
  14. What are the signs that my child is "sexually active"? 
  15. What should I do if I suspect my child is sexually active? 
  16. If I suspect my child is having sex, should I search their room or diary? 
 Childhood Habits 
  1. Dr. Charles Sophy
  2. What is a childhood "habit"? 
  3. How do I know if my child's habit is a serious problem? 
  4. What do I do if my child's habit bothers me? 
  5. How can I help my child overcome his problematic habit? 
 Child Communication: Issues 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. How do I communicate with a child in order to solve behavior problems? 
  3. Why is it important not to ask my child questions when he is misbehaving? 
  4. What are common communication mistakes between parents and children? 
  5. How do I say "no" to my child's request without making him angry? 
  6. How do I communicate with a child who is angry or emotional? 
  7. How do I end a series of "why-questions" with my child? 
  8. How do I confront my child if I know he has done something wrong? 
  9. How do I answer uncomfortable questions from my child? 
 Child Communication Basics 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. What is "communication"? 
  3. How does my communication affect my child? 
  4. How do I communicate with my baby that can't talk? 
  5. How do I communicate with my toddler who is just learning to talk? 
  6. Should my style of communicating change as my child develops? 
  7. What are the steps to improve my listening skills? 
 Child Communication: Opening Dialogue 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. How do I keep an "open line" of communication with my child? 
  3. How can I get my teenager to talk to me? 
  4. How can I receive more than a one-word answer from my child? 
Parenting And Encouragement (Now Playing)
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
 Child Discipline 
  1. Parenting Expert Eileen Hayes
  2. Why do children need discipline? 
  3. At what age should I start to discipline my child? 
  4. What is the best way of disciplining a child? 
  5. How do different styles of parenting affect discipline? 
  6. What is the difference between discipline and punishment? 
  7. How can I teach my child about rules? 
  8. Should I reward my child for good behaviour? 
  9. Should I smack my child when they are naughty? 
  10. Do children learn from smacking? 
  11. Am I spoiling my child if I don't smack them? 
  12. Is it legal to smack a child in the UK? 
  13. Is it OK to shout at my child? 
  14. How can I use 'time out' as way of disciplining my child? 
  15. I feel guilty when I discipline my child, what should I do? 
 Parenting: Discipline And Punishment 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. What is "punishment"? 
  3. What is "physical punishment"? 
  4. What is "verbal punishment" for children? 
  5. What are "time-outs" for children? 
  6. How can I effectively use time-outs with my child? 
  7. What is "discipline"? 
  8. When should I start teaching my child discipline? 
  9. What is the most effective way to discipline a child? 
  10. What are the most common mistakes parents make when disciplining children? 
  11. How do I help my child "learn his lesson" from discipline? 
 Child Friendships 
  1. Kairen Cullen
  2. Is there anything I can do to help my child form healthy friendships? 
  3. How can I find the balance between being involved and interfering in my child's friendships? 
  4. How can I teach my child to deal with rejection? 
  5. Should I try and influence my child's choice of friends? 
  6. I think my child's friends are a bad influence, what should I do? 
  7. Should I be worried about 'peer pressure' on my child? 
  8. I'm worried about what my child gets up to with their friends, what should I do? 
  9. My child spends a lot of time with friends older than them, should I be worried? 
  10. Should I be worried if my child is a member of a clique? 
  11. Should I allow my child to go to sleepovers at a friend's house? 
 Children's Social Skills 
  1. Parenting Expert Eileen Hayes
  2. At what age do children normally start to make friends? 
  3. Why are friends important for children? 
  4. My child struggles to make friends and seems to be a 'loner', what should I do? 
  5. How can I help my child to develop good friendships? 
  6. How can I teach my child about sharing? 
  7. How can I build my child's confidence? 
  8. How can I boost my child's self esteem? 
  9. My child seems very shy, should I be worried? 
 Children And Dating 
  1. Dr. Charles Sophy
  2. What is "dating"? 
  3. At what age is dating appropriate for children? 
  4. What should I discuss with my child about dating? 
  5. What rules should I set for my child about dating? 
  6. How can I ensure my child's safety during dates? 
 Children And Substance Abuse 
  1. Dr. Charles Sophy
  2. What is "substance abuse"? 
  3. At what age is my child likely to experiment with substances? 
  4. How can I deter my child from trying substances? 
  5. At what age should I discuss substance abuse with my child? 
  6. What are signs that my child is experimenting with substances? 
  7. What do I do if I suspect my child is experimenting with substances? 
 Childhood Suicide 
  1. Dr. Charles Sophy
  2. What is "suicide" in teens and adolescents? 
  3. What factors make a child at high risk for suicide? 
  4. How do I know if my child's suicidal threats are serious? 
  5. Is suicide common in children? 
  6. What do I do if I think my child is suicidal? 
 Child Behavior: Misbehavior 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. Why do children misbehave? 
  3. What is the most important thing I should do when my child misbehaves? 
  4. What is the key to understanding my child's behavior? 
  5. What are the steps to managing a child who misbehaves? 
 Child Behavior: Temper Tantrums 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. What is a "temper tantrum"? 
  3. Why do children have temper tantrums? 
  4. How do I prevent temper tantrums? 
  5. What can I do to stop my child's tantrum before it gets out of control? 
  6. What do I do when my child is having a temper tantrum at home? 
  7. What do I do when my child is having a public temper tantrum? 
 Child Behavior: Physical Aggression 
  1. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
  2. What is a "physically aggressive child"? 
  3. Why do children become physically aggressive? 
 Preparation For School 
  1. Kairen Cullen
  2. How can I prepare my child for starting school? 
  3. How can I explain to my child the reason they need to go to school? 
  4. Should I start teaching my child reading, writing and maths before they start school? 
  5. My child seems excessively fearful of starting school, what should I do? 
  6. If my child cries and makes a scene on the first day of school, what should I do? 
  7. How can I help my child feel settled at school? 
  8. How will my younger child be affected by their sibling starting school? 
  9. I miss my child now that they are away at school every day, what should I do? 
Jayne Major, Ph.D. Dr. Jayne Major, Ph.D.
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Parenting And Encouragement

How does encouragement help my child?

As children grow and they're improving in learning, getting better and better, and gaining more and more skills, you want to continually acknowledge their success. Think about it. If parents do it the old way and they don't acknowledge a child's success, then the child has no feedback loop, has no way of knowing was that right. "Did I do it OK?" If you don't reassure them with their choices, their positive choices, then they're not going to be making those choices. They're going to be all over the place. So, you want to constantly, daily, be saying "That's a good choice", day in and day out; "You made a good choice there."

How do I encourage my child?

If you take all the good methods know to humankind and you pull just one out and you do it consistently, you will be the most amazingly successful parent. That is, catch your children being good. Catch them being good; that will give them encouragement, raise their self-esteem, teach them right from wrong, and give them the information that they need. If you think about every single thing that you know how to do and you know how to do well, it's only because somebody, maybe a lot of people, caught you being good at it. Maybe they put a gold star on your paper, or an A+, or maybe they smiled at you and gave you a pat on the back and they said "That's right, terrific, you're on it now." This will raise self-esteem. Self-esteem shouldn't be based on "Oh, you're such a pretty person. You're such a good person. You're so smart." Nah, self-esteem is based on achievement. "Look at what you did on this test, you worked so hard and you really succeeded on this." Think about it, that's wonderful. It's based on achievement. Catch them being good. Every time they are moving in the direction you want them to go, "That's right, you got it right. Good for you." That, is wonderful.

How do I encourage my child if he is failing at school?

If you have a child who is failing at school or struggling with specific subjects, you need to find out what it is they need and what they think and feel about school. It is very easy for children to get discouraged, especially if they're struggling with something that they feel is bigger than they are, or work that is too advanced for them, and to feel like a failure. You don't want your child to feel like a failure. You do want your child to learn about win-lose, about how, who they are, and that they're not going to be good at every single thing. You want your child to make their best effort in whatever it is, and for them to know that you're going to love them regardless. So, with that foundation you need to solve the problem. I remember when I taught at a school, there was a child that we discovered needed glasses and was really having a horrible time in school because he couldn't see the page adequately, so you could imagine the assumptions on the part of the teacher. They were very different once he got glasses because before nobody knew what was wrong when he just couldn't see. Maybe the child has a learning disability or maybe the child needs special tutoring in a particular subject because they're just not catching on. Whatever it is, solve the problem, and as you're solving the problem, as you see success, you want to encourage that success so that they continue being good.

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