Parenting And Encouragement
How does encouragement help my child?
As children grow and they're improving in learning, getting better and better, and gaining more and more skills, you want to continually acknowledge their success. Think about it. If parents do it the old way and they don't acknowledge a child's success, then the child has no feedback loop, has no way of knowing was that right. "Did I do it OK?" If you don't reassure them with their choices, their positive choices, then they're not going to be making those choices. They're going to be all over the place. So, you want to constantly, daily, be saying "That's a good choice", day in and day out; "You made a good choice there."
How do I encourage my child?
If you take all the good methods know to humankind and you pull just one out and you do it consistently, you will be the most amazingly successful parent. That is, catch your children being good. Catch them being good; that will give them encouragement, raise their self-esteem, teach them right from wrong, and give them the information that they need. If you think about every single thing that you know how to do and you know how to do well, it's only because somebody, maybe a lot of people, caught you being good at it. Maybe they put a gold star on your paper, or an A+, or maybe they smiled at you and gave you a pat on the back and they said "That's right, terrific, you're on it now." This will raise self-esteem. Self-esteem shouldn't be based on "Oh, you're such a pretty person. You're such a good person. You're so smart." Nah, self-esteem is based on achievement. "Look at what you did on this test, you worked so hard and you really succeeded on this." Think about it, that's wonderful. It's based on achievement. Catch them being good. Every time they are moving in the direction you want them to go, "That's right, you got it right. Good for you." That, is wonderful.
How do I encourage my child if he is failing at school?
If you have a child who is failing at school or struggling with specific subjects, you need to find out what it is they need and what they think and feel about school. It is very easy for children to get discouraged, especially if they're struggling with something that they feel is bigger than they are, or work that is too advanced for them, and to feel like a failure. You don't want your child to feel like a failure. You do want your child to learn about win-lose, about how, who they are, and that they're not going to be good at every single thing. You want your child to make their best effort in whatever it is, and for them to know that you're going to love them regardless. So, with that foundation you need to solve the problem. I remember when I taught at a school, there was a child that we discovered needed glasses and was really having a horrible time in school because he couldn't see the page adequately, so you could imagine the assumptions on the part of the teacher. They were very different once he got glasses because before nobody knew what was wrong when he just couldn't see. Maybe the child has a learning disability or maybe the child needs special tutoring in a particular subject because they're just not catching on. Whatever it is, solve the problem, and as you're solving the problem, as you see success, you want to encourage that success so that they continue being good.
