Parenting Rules And Values
What type of rules should I set for my child?
Well the top ten rules should be all base on respect. Every person in the family ought to be respected, everyone. And everyone in the family deserves to have their needs met, whatever those basic needs in the family is not going to be the same. Equal isn't fair. So if you have a small child and an older child, you're not gonna give them equal things. You're gonna base them on their age. If you have a child with special needs so it's gonna be equal they're gonna need a lot of resources to help them with that special needs. You have an illness in the family then so it's gonna be equal, what's fair is you make an extra effort to help that person that has some illness to get better.
Why are rules important for my child?
If children grow up without rules, and particularly without rules that they agree to, and respect, it's a problem. Think about the task of being a parent to a child, is to socialize the child to fit into the larger community. To be able to leave the family and to go out into the world and be an independent person in their own right, and to take care of themselves, and to take care of other people, to be a mature, grown-up, responsible human being. And when parents show their children that and expect that from their children, they're helping that child to grow up and be an independent, healthy person in their own right.
Should I stay firm on family rules all the time?
With parenting rules and values, some family rules have to do with safety. The parents must make sure that children adhere to safety rules, for sure. Other rules have flexibility in them. For example, if you have a child that is in young elementary school, maybe bed time is eight o'clock, eight-thirty, and then as the child gets older, you change the rules according to the needs of the situation. However, it should always make sense in the context of the situation. Always use participation in parenting, unless you have a child that is just not participating, or if you have a child that is really angry, upset, or sick, then you need to take charge of the situation. When possible, don't take charge, have the child engage with you in a problem solving activity where you come up with solutions that work for both the parent and the child.
