Performing As A Stand-Up Comedian
Do you get nervous?
You constantly get nervous. You're always nervous. I guess you never really know how an audience is going to respond, irrespective, even if you've performed even the night before. Each audience is different. They're made up of a different set of people; different values. Therefore, nerves is a way of telling you that you're entering into a situation where you're not sure of what the outcome's going to be. So, it keeps you on your toes.
Do you wear something special when you perform?
I'm fussy about what I wear when I go on stage as a stand-up comic. As a headline act, you're supposed to stand out from the crowd. They want to believe that you're successful and that you're doing well. I think it's only respectful to dress in accordance to what people are paying. If people are paying seven quid, they paid seven quid. It can take an hour for someone to earn seven quid. Sometimes, you are getting paid, you know couple hundred quid, a couple a thousand quid, then look that way because that's what people are paying for. There are times where you might look and think, "Oh, my God, everyone's got on a suit or whatever, and I know, I'll go in there and look like a tramp." If that's going to make you stand out, if that's gonna make people cry, "Oh, well he's different!" straight away. You are judged in the space of about 10 seconds, before you even hit the mic. A woman can look and you and tell whether or not you drive a car or get on a bus, because she's looking at your shoe heel. It's important that you see yourself in the mirror. So, clothes are important for a stand-up comic.
How do you conquer nervousness?
As a stand-up comic, you conquer nervousness through experience. I think the more you do something, the more relaxed you become about it. You become aware of the fact that when you first start stand-up you're like, "Oh, my God, are they going to like me? Is it going to work out good? Is everything going to be all right?" Later on you're less nervous and think, "Oh, these people have actually paid to come here. They want the comedy to work, which is the reason why they're here in the first place." If I've put the work in, or if I've done enough work and I've learnt from my previous experiences of being on stage, then my stand-up performance should appeal to the people that I'm in front of. That's how you basically conquer your nerves, through experience.
How do you deal with hecklers?
It depends what the heckler is. It depends what the heckle is about. I mean, if the heckle's in conjunction with what you're saying and it relates to exactly what you're talking about you can make that heckle a part of your show. If the heckle is directed at you personally with the intention of trying to make that individual who's heckling seem to be the man of the moment, then unfortunately that heckler has to realize that he's just opening himself up to a lot of ridicule that he wasn't expecting. Nine out of ten times the audience will be on your side for that, for the simple reason that that heckler came at you first, as opposed to me trying to make my comedy out of picking on the audience.
Do you have a set routine that you perform?
No you don't. I think every comic is different. You have comics who have a set routine and that's that and they don't shift north or south of that routine. And then you have comics who can improvise on the spot, but my thing is this; that once you've improvised it once then after that it's no longer improvisation. Because you've done it and what you've sust out that you have created a perfect step that makes people laugh so if I do it again tomorrow that is not improvisation. That's me now I've found material that works. And therefore now I can begin to structure some sort of connection between one routine to another to generate laughter for a period of time. So for me, if I walk into a room and the room could be made up of university kids for example, then all the things that I've said over the years that I believe will relate to this particular group is what will start to come out of my mouth. So it's not like I've sat there and I've gone round and said I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that. What happens is that my comedic brain kicks in and it goes right these people that I'm in front of it appear as though they can relate to this and they can relate to that and they can relate to this. And that's when I'll start to deliver
Where is the strangest place you've done a gig?
The strangest place I've ever done a stand-up comedy gig was in eastern Africa, in the prisons, because there was no way out. If you had a heckler you said, “Yeah man, yeah.” You worried about going through the back door. However that comedy gig was out of choice, that was quite deliberate, in the sense that the comedy school I was working with decided we would go there to perform stand-up.
Where is the most dangerous place you've done a gig?
On paper, the most dangerous places I've ever done a stand-up comedy gig have been in Fallujah and Afghanistan, However, believe it or not, one of the most dangerous places I perform stand-up comedy in is Manchester. I feel terrified when I go down to Manchester. There's a High Street, and everything looks busy and lovely, but you could get stabbed. I've been in some army vehicles where I felt a lot more comfortable sticking my head out and having a look around, knowing that there were snipers, than I did walking down Manchester High Street.
Where is your favourite place to perform?
My favorite place is Camden Jongleurs. The reason why Camden Jongleurs is because it represents the world to me. I'm a northwest London lad anyway and Camden is in northwest London. When you go to Camden Jongleurs, you will see every nationality you could possibly think of in that venue. So, when I get up on stage there, it makes me feel as though I am talking to the world. I don't feel as though I am just talking to a bunch of north Londoners as opposed as if I were to go to Wimbeldon, I know to expect a certain class of people. If I go out to Twickenham, I know that. If I go to Plymouth, I know that. If I go to Southampton, I know that they may be slightly mixed up or whatever and it may be predominantly students, but a lot of them are from Southampton. But Camden, that's the place for me.
How do you work a room?
Working a room – the dynamics of it is something that the comedy school, when I was one of the tutors there, we really took to working the room quite seriously because it's one of the first things that we felt that comedians needed to understand - was that you're not just getting up in front of your mates now and making them laugh – because you knew Tommy from when he was seven years old and now you two are twenty-two, so you know Tommy and all the mates inside out. With the Comedy Room, it was trying to work out who was actually in the room before you've actually even opened your mouth. You know, where are they coming from, what are they about? If you were to segment them, would they be a (?), would they be a football club, would they be, a choir, a team of some sort? Once you start – once you can begin to identify all or at least have an idea of who's in the room, then, that's when you start pitching - you can start to pitch your comedy, you can start to change the words of your delivery to, suit them, because you've worked out, i.e. that they might be all professionals. You know, you might work out that they were all cleaners. If they were all cleaners, then there's no point in using high-faluting language because they are not going to be with you. But then, at the same time, if they were professors, well, here's now a time for you to do some linguistic gymnasium. So, you work the room by looking at age, sex, job, race, culture and place.
What can you do if nobody is laughing?
When nobody's laughing, you just keep going. If a boxer's boxing and he's hit somebody with a left jab, he doesn't give up. You keep working. At the end of the day, it is work, it is a job. If it was a case of everyday you got up, and anything you said, everyone started laughing eventually, you'd get pretty bored because you'd start to question what you're really getting out of it. I'm pushing myself everytime I'm up on stage. I like to feel that I'm trying to take people to places they've never thought about. Stand up comedy is about a conversation with laughs along the way. It's not about people just hilariously falling all over the place for 20 minutes. Sometimes people are just interested in your journey as much as they are to know they're laughing. In a 20 minute or half an hour set, there have to be times where people aren't laughing.
Do you always tell original jokes?
Original jokes? That's a good question, because my question has to be, what is original? You can have an original point of view, or what appears to be an original point of view. But then, when you say "original jokes," that's a hard one to say, because if someone's talking about relationships, everybody talks about relationships. Therefore, that joke is covered. If you start talking about vehicles, everybody's spoken about vehicles, so in a way, that's been covered. If you talk about going to space, there's comics who have spoken about going to space, so in a way, that's been covered. So what is really new? I don't think there's anything really new out there that one could say is original. I think that what you can say is, somebody's point of view can be seen as being original, but I don't think there are any original comedy premises out there. I think everything just comes and goes, around in circles. I think it all goes around in circles. It's like, for example, when you read problem pages, you pick up the problem page and you'll go, "I saw that one last week!" Somebody is having a similar problem, but they're coming at it from a different way. It's like the same problems seem to be coming over and over again, but at the same time, they all seem to have their own little unique twist in them, because of the experience that the individuals might be going through. And I think to a certain degree it's the same with comedy. You know, when 9/11 erupted, who was the first to tell the joke, or who was the first to start talking about it? So because, let's say for argument's sake, Mark Steel started talking about it, because it's the sort of thing that he would do, or Mark Thomas, does that now mean that that's their area, that only they can go in there and make jokes about that? And I don't think that really holds tight, because everybody has been affected by it, so I should be able to talk about 9/11 from my perspective as well, so to speak. So I would say that it's wrong to recite something that somebody has already done, word for word, and claim it as your own. But I don't think it is wrong for somebody to come up with a premise, i.e. "Let's talk about Eastenders," and because somebody has spoken about Eastenders does not mean I do not now have the right to get up and talk about Eastenders, because I think everybody has that right.
Is performing on the stage different from TV work?
I feel the biggest difference between TV and stage work is that with the stage work you're performing to a live audience. And, therefore, it's like you can joke about anything in the room and everybody can quickly turn left or right and see exactly what you're talking about. Whereas, with TV you're performing to that person who's got a mug of tea in his hand and he's sitting at home of the sofa next to his girlfriend or just playing with himself. And it's about trying to get that person and lens into your world. And, therefore, it's slightly different because he can't see everything else, everything that's going on around you. He can only see what's directly in front of him so you're pitching it as though you're talking to one person at home.
Do you find it hard being funny when you're in a bad mood?
Nah. If I am in a bad mood, that works to my advantage because it means that Victor Meldrews of this world have proved that grumpy comics can work. I think that people like to think to themselves that as bad as life is, it's not as bad as the comics right about now. So, I share my emotions when I go up on stage. If something bad happened to me during the day, I would tell them that something bad happened to me during the day and as usual, the comic always comes out on top. I tend to use it.
Is there anything that you won't make a joke about?
There are very few things that I won't make a joke about, to be honest with you. I mean, I'll joke about Catholicism, I'll joke about drugs, I'll joke about pedophelia, I'll joke about rape.Police came knocking at my door, said they were looking for a rapist, I said, "Alright, I'll do the job, now leave me alone."What I won't do though is I wouldn't take a rape victim and make fun out of them, you get me. But it doesn't mean I can't talk about rape. I think that every comedian does have a large amount of responsibility in terms of what comes out of their voices and how what they're saying can be perceived, because you can make jokes about homosexuals. But I wouldn't justify making jokes about homosexuals with the view that they should be harmed or they should be killed or they should be eradicated from this earth. I accept that they're here, and therefore if I can accept that a woman's here, and I can accept that a homosexual or a lesbian's here, then that tells me I've got three people I can now talk about within my routine, and possibly have a laugh with. Possibly at their expense, yes. But not with the view that I'm discriminating against them.
