Post-First Date Advice For Men
What do I do if I tell my date I'll call her, but don't reallly want a second date?
A lot of guys have been in the situation where, at the end of the date, they tell the girl they had a great time and they're going to call them again, they get home, and they're like, "What was I thinking? I don't want to go out with that girl again." It happens to all of us. When that arises, you really have two options. One is to just not call her back. I personally would not choose that option, but you're free to do that. The second option is to call her and say, "You know what? I had a great time, I think you're really cool, but I don't really think there's that physical connection between us." Nine times out of ten she'll feel the same way, and maybe you'll make a good friend out of it, if nothing else.
How soon should I call a woman if I'm interested in a second date?
When you call up a girl and ask her out on a second date really depends on how well the first date went. If it went great, you probably should have asked her out right then and there at the end of the first date. If you didn't ask her out then, call her the next day. Show her you're interested in her. Trust me, it will go a long way. If you're not quite sure, or if you're still on the fence about her or if you think she's on the fence about you, then give it a day or two. That's fine, too, because it will make you play a little bit hard to get with her and also it will put the ball back in your court as far as the principle of least interest goes. But if you wait too long to call for a second date, you really are running in jeopardy of her not wanting to go out with you.
Is it OK to email or text a woman after a first date instead of calling?
When it comes to texting and e-mailing after your first date, I differ from a lot of other dating experts. Personally, I think you should call the person after the first date. The only exception, when you should text or e-mail, is if the woman prefers that mode of communication. If she's working a lot, and she really only responds to e-mails, then go ahead and e-mail her. But I think once you've met a person and you've spoken to them, and you've been face to face, I think it's best to continue talking with them and be on the phone with them, because it's more personal. E-mails and text messages are easier, but they're less personal. So stick with the more personal approach and call them.
How soon should I ask a woman for a second date?
If your first date was a success then definitely take her out again as soon as possible, especially if you know she wants to go out with you again. If you're not quite sure how the first date went, give it a couple of days and then ask her out maybe three or four days later. It really depends on how that first date went and it's a hard call, but just go with your gut. Whatever feels comfortable with you will work out just fine.
How do I handle a post-date situation if I just want to be friends?
If you get the sense you just really want to be friends with a woman after a date, the best course of action is to be honest and up front and tell her that. Believe it or not, women really, really appreciate honesty, even to the point of telling them that you're not interested in them in a sexual manner. They'd much rather hear it from you up front, instead of getting their hopes up, thinking about you and really looking forward to the next date. So if you're honest and up front with them, in the long run they will appreciate it.
How do I handle a post-date situation if my date just want to be friends?
If, at the end of the date, the woman makes it clear to you that she just wants to be friends, it is a tough pill to swallow. But you know what? a) she's being honest, and that's cool. You don't have to waste any more time on trying to woo her. b) It might open up a friendship with this girl, and she could actually introduce you to more of her friends, and you might find someone there. So don't worry about it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You went out on a date with her, and you met a new person.
How should I handle a post-date situation if we know people in common?
If you and the woman you went on a date with actually have some of the same friends or people in common, as a general rule, if the date goes well then of course say, "Hey I had a great time", and let it be known to your friends. If it doesn't go so well, there's no point in saying it was a bad date; just let it go. Don't say anything to the friends if it was a bad date.