Preparation For School
How can I prepare my child for starting school?
There's lots of things that you can do to prepare your child. Take away some of the great unknown from this new experience by having lots of low key enjoyable conversations, so that they have opportunities to ask questions, so that you can give them actual practical information about what to expect. If you know anybody involved with the school directly, invite them to meet with you perhaps to have more of those kinds of conversations. Give your child time and opportunity to express any worries. Don't overemphasize them, but reassure them and emphasize other children you may know who are at the school, who quite clearly are enjoying the experience.
How can I explain to my child the reason they need to go to school?
The best way to address this question is to start from base, start with your own experience. Your own experiences of school and where those lead you, and possibly other members of the family. School is about preparing for life in general as well as careers, and there are lot of things that we learn. If you talk about your own experience, you make it real. You take away some of the mysteries and possibly some of the worries because the child is obviously safe with what you have to say.
Should I start teaching my child reading, writing and maths before they start school?
That's an interesting question, and parents approach this topic very differently. I'd say the word that most encompasses what advice I have to give is balance. You have to be lead by your childs readiness, interest, strengths. If you have a child who is not much interested in that kind of activity, there's no point in pushing it at this stage. After all, that's what school is for and it's not your job to recreate school in your home context. Home is where they can be themselves and develop all sorts of qualities and skills, not simply academic ones. If you've got a child that is ready, on the other hand, there is no harm in engaging in some activities as long as they're framed as enjoyable activities, and they're not arduous or make anybody feel bad or pressured.
My child seems excessively fearful of starting school, what should I do?
This is something that you need to take seriously, but at the same time not emphasize so that the fear becomes even bigger and more unmanageable. First of all, you have to gather information around what this fear is about. You can do that in a number of ways: through observing their play, their interactions with others and what they actually say. But all the time you're doing this, do not give your child the impression that you're overly anxious or as I said before, it's going to snowball. Find out exactly what the problem is, what the problems are. Do anything you can in terms of practicalities. For example, they may be afraid, depending on their age, perhaps on how to get to school or the school routine or the equipment they'll need. If they're younger children there may be other sorts of fears, but the best way to address them is to talk, to understand, to listen, to empathize, to accept and to be constructive.
If my child cries and makes a scene on the first day of school, what should I do?
Don't panic. This has happened many times in the past, and these children inevitably settle down. That actually then recedes into an obvious family anecdote. It's not as serious or intense as it may feel on the occasion. First of all, you've got to take some of the heat and some of the emotion out of the situation. That means staying calm yourself, reassuring the child, understanding why they've panicked in this way, and then addressing that.
How can I help my child feel settled at school?
Give them time to talk. Allow them to talk about the things that they're enjoying, show a particular interest in that and at the same time listen to the things that aren't going so well, and be realistically constructive about those things. Be empathic in terms of sharing any experiences that you may have had and sharing how you overcame those difficulties. Give them time, because this is a prolonged process and the whole stage of school is about them getting to know themselves and how to cope with the world at large, and time is a key feature here.
How will my younger child be affected by their sibling starting school?
They will be affected, there's no question about that. Firstly, they'll have more of your focus. This could well be a good thing because after all, all children at some point perhaps dream of being only children. But there are some losses too. They'll have less contact with their sibling, so that means that time has to be used and you may well need to substitute other social opportunities in the spaces that's left. See it as a positive development, because it's going to make different demands on your second and subsequent children and that will help their development.
I miss my child now that they are away at school every day, what should I do?
Develop interest and wipe out the worries - the thing to do is to keep yourself busy by developing new interests and doing new work. This way you will forget all your worries about your child.