Quieting The Busy Mind
Is busy-ness a coping mechanism?
A lot of people believe that they got be busy to get things done and so they think it's coping mechanis. In fact it stresses you out. So the coping mechanism is to slow down. It's counter-intuitive, the people think "Oh I gotta work faster and do more," that's not what you should do. You should slow down. That will allow you to focus better concentrate better, get more done better.
Will I go through withdrawal if I slow down?
You might because you've become addicted to being busy. You've become an adrenaline junkie. You want that rush. It sort of comes with the caffeine. You want to get all juiced up. So if you slow down and concentrate, you might say, "Oh, I don't like this." The reason you don't like it is because you are working. You are focusing. You are thinking. Disappearing art, thinking, you know. Or you are having a deep conversation you are starting to feel things you haven't felt for awhile. Again, because you are allowing yourself to engage fully. You might get a little agitated. You might get a little annoyed but it's in the service of growth, believe me.
What are three ways to quiet my mind?
The three ways to quiet my mind are; first get enough sleep, second get regular physical exercise, and lastly get regular doses of positive of human contact.
How can I transition to a better pace of life?
Transitioning to a better pace of life takes a plan. So you need to sit down with a friend, with a spouse and really shape the plan. Now one plan doesn't fit everyone, so decide for yourself. But it often begins by starting an exercise program, getting enough sleep, eliminating what I call leeches, that are people or projects that waste your time, and cultivating what I call Lily's, people or projects that repay you. And as you do that, as you get rid of leeches, as you exercise regularly, as you sleep enough, as you have positive moments with other people, your pace will take care of itself, and you'll find that not only are you happier and healthier, but you're getting more important work done.
How can I stop worrying and sleep better?
You know the best cure for worry is another person. And that's also probably the biggest cause for worry. But talking to someone is the best way to diminish what I call 'toxic worry.' You don't want to get rid of worry completely. We have a word for that, it's called denial. Worry is a way of solving problems, but a good phrase is 'never worry alone.' It's ok to worry, but worry with someone because then you'll start solving the problem. Toxic worry tends to occur in isolation. So connect with another person. Don't be so busy that you can't talk over a problem. Never worry alone.
Does being busy help people feel important and needed?
Yes, a lot of people use being busy as a kind of a status symbol. I'm so busy. I'm crazy busy. I've got so much to do. And the idea is, you must be very important. In fact, the opposite is true. If you're crazy busy, it probably means you don't know, you're not smart enough to be able to delegate, you're not smart enough to prioritize, you're not wise enough, to live life the way it ought to be lived. So, far from being a status symbol, it's a symbol that you're not really on top of your game.
Does being busy contribute to a sense of self-worth?
It can. Being crazy busy can contribute to a sense of self worth but it's a crazy way to do it. You really should instead have your worth be defined by your loving relationships and by your connections with the world that are satisfying not by running around and being busy. That really doesn't add anything to the world.
Will people think I'm lazy if I slow down?
People will not think you're lazy. People will admire you, and they'll take a lesson. And they'll try to do the same. We all need to help each other to slow down, so they won't think you're lazy. They won't think you're a goal breaker. You might, because your big old conscious there is slogging you, "Oh no, no, no." So you've got to tell that to shut up too. You've got to tell your inner voice that's saying be busy, busy, busy, to shut up. And believe me, others will value, "Oh, great! It's nice to see you! You're not running out the door." And you'll start saying, "Oh, gee. What I've been missing in my life." You'll start living life to the fullest instead of missing out on most of the good stuff.
