Relationships With Guys

Why are guys freaked out about declaring someone their 'girlfriend'?

Some guys don't want a relationship and the fact of the matter is, if you're hanging out every single night, you don't need to declare what you are. If you're hanging out every night, you are boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't need to label it. You don't need to say, "Hi boyfriend, hi girlfriend". Just enjoy where you're at, but if he's not, after hanging out every single night for a month or two, and he's not inviting you to meet his friends or taking you to a work party or whatever it is, then he's not looking for a relationship and he's hiding you in the closet, but you know what? You don't need to have this label, just enjoy the process.

Why are guys so afraid of relationships?

Because we always want what we can't have. I mean I love it when a woman texts me and shows me lots of love and lots of affection. And then I'm like "do I want a relationship with her? Nah! I don't want a relationship." Then she leaves them I'm like "Ah, good, freedom!, freedom!, freedom!" Then I don't hear from her all day long and I'm like "Oh my God! What is she up to tonight?" We want what we can't have so we always need to let us chase somehow or another. And I'm not talking about chasing with games. I'm talking about keeping it fresh and exciting. Meaning, text us something very hot and sexy in the middle of the day. It keeps the chase going, right? Don't be available when you've just spent three or four nights together. Allow us to miss you one night – we will. We'll want to see you every single night but you've got to get us into this whole relationship. Slow and steady, always wins the guy.

How can a girl help a guy get over commitment issues?

By being understanding and finding out why the guy has commitment issues. What is it, what is it about these commitment issues? Have an open conversation about it. Ask him why he has commitment issues. Find out about it. Some guys are ready to have a commitment. A friend of mine just had a kid, he's fifty years old. He never wanted a kid, but the right woman brought him there. You have to be patient, loving, understanding and have open conversations. And don't jump down our throat. When we open up to you don't just jump in with an answer. Listen really carefully, process it, think about it and then come back at us with an answer. A lot of women want a fix, a lot of guys want a fix. We're not looking for a fix, we're looking to be understood, just like you.

Why do some guys run when the relationship gets serious?

Because, you know what, the sex starts getting good, the guy wants more and more of it, and then all of a sudden he realizes, okay, that you want a lot more, and he bolts. That's usually the reason why a guy bolts, because he lied to you in the first place, he sold you a bill of goods that didn't work, and the sex got good and he realized that you were starting to get lovely looks during the middle of sex, you started looking at him with love and adoration, and he didn't feel that, so he usually bolts, and if they bolt, don't get angry; he did you a favor, because he didn't take you further down the path so you really got hurt.

What are signs my guy thinks things are moving too fast?

He's going to tell you, he's going to be like "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Friday night I'm going out with the boys" and he's like, "Hey! Wow, we've been together like five or six straight nights, maybe we should take a break." Those are some of the signs. He's going to back down a little bit, you might say "Hey what do you want to do tonight?" and he might pause in a voice and "um, were we doing something?" He's going to get nervous, those are some outward signs that are going to tell you that he is nervous and things are going too fast.

Do men compare us to their exes?

Certain men will compare you to their exes because certain men are looking for that same woman over and over again. There are some guys out there, especially in Los Angeles that I've worked with, that like brunettes that are 5”3, 106 and a half pounds and not a bit more, she's got to be a lawyer. There are a lot of guys out there who have this weird type. If you've got a guy that is comparing you to an ex, it means that he is not over his ex. It means you don't stand a chance to go out with him and have a good relationship. The second you hear a guy comparing you to an ex, you need to look at the guy and say “You know what, I'm fine with all my exes. I'm fine with wherever my life. You need to figure out where you are in your life.” You can't start a relationship with a guy that compare you to an ex. There are a lot less guys that do that than ever before but there are still some guys that do that. If you get that guy, he needs to go and he needs to figure out his life before you can figure out any type of relationship with him. That is a huge one to decide.