Roseanne On The Holidays

How do you feel about the holidays?

I hate the holidays. I hate that you have to be with your loved ones on the holidays. I think for it to truly be a holiday, you should not be with any of your loved ones. You should just be alone, doing what you, your own personal self, wants to do, for yourself and with yourself, and not having to please, cook, nothing for anybody. That would be a holiday. So the forced labor days, like Christmas and stuff, and Thanksgiving. I'll do it, but I resent it. I don't have any of that good feeling, like some women, I guess. I think they're lying too. "What do you mean? I enjoy cooking, and slaving over my family." No, you don't. No one could. Unless you were drinking a lot. I always drink heavily at family affairs.

Why do retailers make such a big deal about the holidays?

Yeah it is just like a market, we are being manipulated because you know we are walking money so they want to put their hand in our pocket. They make us feel guilty too so we will come back next year and do the same thing. That is what they like, getting their hand in your pocket and getting you hooked.

Are the holidays really 'happy'?

No one's ever grateful, I mean my God if anyone really was grateful then maybe it would be fun, but they're not. It's always a tragedy of horrible proportions. No one's ever happy. Everyone's always fighting. Someone comes late and you're mad. They don't help you clean up. It's not good, it's fake.

Should children believe in Santa Claus?

I told my kids there is no Santa Claus; “Anything that you get that is because I gave it to you.” And my son, he said, "What do you mean there's no Santa Claus?" He goes, "So, you're eating those cookies?" He was resentful, but yeah, I was eating the cookies. But no there's no Santa Claus or any of that and I think that those are just horrible things to do to children. I was poor when I was little and I would ask Santa and I didn't get the stuff and I thought it was because I was bad. I didn't know it was because I was poor. That's all bullshit; they ought to get over their selves with that. You get things if you're good, that's bad, that's satanic, and I don't like it. But I told my son, I said, "Just because you find out that there's no Santa, don't confuse that with God." A lot of kids when they find out that there's no Santa they don't believe in God either. So that's why I think it's an abusive thing to make a kid go to any religion, that's child abuse and telling them there's Santa, that's child abuse too. And the Easter rabbit and all the rest of them, that's all abuse.