Runaways
What is a 'runaway'?
A runaway is a child who is leaving their own home, usually somebody who is not qualified to take care of themselves. They're leaving for a variety of reasons. Some of them are running away from abuse in the home. Some of them literally live in a situation where they are not being taken care of, where there's basic neglect. That is another form of child abuse, because there's no food, there's no parents, and so they take off. Some of them are running away because they're upset with something that's going on in their life. But in all cases of runaways, they're putting themselves usually in a very dangerous situation.
What are warning signs my child may run away?
There are a variety of warning signs that your child may run away. When you know your child is really upset and they can't stand being where they are, they usually talk about it. It's not that often that it is a 100% surprise that a child just all of a sudden takes off and nobody knows about it. The important thing is to find out whether or not they did run away, because parents don't know immediately whether the child was abducted, or whether they ran away - they don't know what the situation was. So a lot of things that would happen, a police officer's first questions are going to be - did you have an argument? A lot of times, the kid comes home with a bad report card, and they told you if you come home one more time with an F on your report card, then don't come home. So you've got to make sure that you maintain a really good up to date list of addresses and phone numbers of all of your child's friends so that you can find out where your child is as quickly as possible if it is a runaway situation.
What do I do if I suspect my child may run away?
If you suspect your child may run away, you're going to have to try to talk to him and let them know that that's not the answer. They're going to need to know that you care about them and that running away from home won't change the situation that they're trying to run away from. You need to find another outlet or another solution for the problem that they have. There are so many different possible problems that could equal running away from home that it would be impossible for me to answer what the right thing to do is. The right thing is always communication with your child. If you don't think you can do it on your own, there are other people you can bring in to talk to your child about it so that they know. One of the things I would do, for example if I though that my child is running away, is that I'd make sure that they're running away to somewhere I knew. They may have a family friend, there could be a relative, there could be somebody where if it's just a situation that they're got to get away for a while or they can't stand something and they're going to run away, that you give them a resource.
What do I do if my child has run away?
Finding a missing child, whether they've run away from home or didn't come home for any reason, is all about finding the last person who saw them and figuring out where they were last, so that you can figure out where they're going next. It's really important that you have as much information as possible on your child.
What do I do when my runaway child returns home?
When your runaway child returns home, it certainly is not any guarantee that it's not going to happen again. So usually I would recommend some counselling. I would go and find whether you have a local church or you have any type of local resources for mental health. Certainly the school will. If your child's enrolled in school there will be a counsellor there. It may not be the same counsellor that you would go to, to talk it out with your child, but you need to get to the root of why the child ran away. So that it doesn't continue to happen. Because kids that run away, run away more than once.
