Safety FAQs From Parents
How can I prepare my child to be safe at school?
Talk with your child directly and openly, as age appropriate. Make sure that they understand your expectations. Often, children who are victimized at school are out of place. They're truant, or they are not where they are supposed to be. Sometimes they are victimized by a poor choice of friends, joining a gang - that type of thing. For example, if there was a fight, your child should know that they need to leave that area. It's very dangerous to stand by and watch a fight at a school. It's an easy way to get hurt, and it's a good way to get into trouble with school authorities. You have got to help your child develop good judgment, because unfortunately many youth today don't understand, because parents haven't had that type of open discussion. Make sure that you go over your school's policies with your child, and make sure that they know what your expectations are. If they know someone has a gun, or is being severely bullied, or is talking about committing suicide, give them instruction, as what you would expect. For example, you may want to tell them to go to a school resource officer, police liaison officer, or school official, if any of those things come up. They should then know that they should not tell anyone about that, but you and those school officials. They should never tell another student. For example, if they reported someone with a gun, it's dangerous not to report it, but to report it and tell ten of your friends is not exactly a very safe thing to do either. You shouldn't presume children understand that. We need to talk to our children about these types of situations, and have that open dialogue with them. Finally, let them know that you are open to listen to them, and to help them if they ever have any kind of safety concern at school.
What should I teach my child about strangers?
You should teach your child that sometimes, and you have to context this language with what's age appropriate, but sometimes people harm other people, in almost any type of setting. And that when you don't know someone that they're an unknown in terms of danger and they should be alert to any situation where someone they don't know tries to invade their personal space, tries to get too close to them, to create too much proximity, tries to ask them questions about where they live or what things that if you step back they'll make sense but we have to explain that to a child. To explain to your child to be alert to people that approach them and offer them something that seems too good to the child to be true and that may be a variety of things. People that victimize children use different techniques. But basically they should use distance as a way of protecting themselves from people who are an unknown quality to them in terms of safety. For example, if someone approaches in a car and stops and asks a child for directions, tell them very specifically not to approach that vehicle. If they're going to talk to the individual, do so from a distance. If the person tries to get out of the car and approach them, they need to try to call for help and leave that area, might be a general recommendation depending on the circumstance. But to be alert to their surroundings, that's a good trait for them to develop as a child to help them be safe all the way through life, is to be alert to our surroundings and what doesn't seem right, to be aware that a situation seems to be out of the ordinary and bears our attention and a closer look.
At what age should I begin teaching my child about strangers?
You have to look at the emotional and mental development of your child, and by that I mean the maturity level of your child. You don't want to frighten the child too badly, but as they develop the ability to understand, you bring them along, you tell them a little bit more as they get older, talk in a language that your child can understand, and try not to use extreme examples. This is a life skill that you're teaching a child. It's like anything else. It's your child's development because as an adult, they're at risk, even more so in many cases than they are as a child. You want to bring them along as they can understand it, and appropriate to the situations that they face.
What should I do if my child's school is in crisis and on the news?
The first thing you should do if your child's school is affected by a crisis is resist your very strong natural desire to rush to the school. If you rush to the school you are actually endangering your child. You may deny your child emergency medical attention, police assistance, and other forms of public safety assistance. We have seen this time and time again where parents and loved ones rushed to the school to help the child, only to in one case, cause EMTs to carry students seven blocks on stretchers because they couldn't get to their ambulances because parents blocked the way. So, don't rush to the school. Try to stay off your cellular phone, you can be part of the problem there clogging networks that may be needed by school and public safety officials. Tune into your school's TV channel if they have one, tune into local news, check the school system website. Generally speaking, if it's a major crisis you'll be directed to pick up your child at a site away from the school and you don't want to lose the opportunity to see your child because you're stuck in traffic near the school. So, as hard as it is to do, the best thing sometimes is to wait until you get further instruction. and I know as a parent how hard that can be but it is the best thing you can do to protect your child. Rushing to your child's school is a very dangerous thing for them and other children there.
What should I do if a natural disaster occurs while my child is at school?
If a natural disaster occurs while your child is at school you should monitor media reports and emergency communications through your emergency management agency if they have such capabilities and follow those instructions. If you try to rush to where your child is, you may add to the problem. You may find when you get there that your child is no longer there and they've been moved to another site. So as with other crisis situations, its really best to find out what's going on before you go trying to help your child, but in fact possibly endangering them and other children.
What should I do if my child is being bullied at school?
If your child tells you they're being bullied, you need to firstly understand that it's very difficult for a child to trust an adult about bullying. We know that from research and from working with children for many years in this area. Understand that you have to gain their trust, demonstrate your capability to help them and get them to give you more information. They very often leave out some of the most important information because it's embarrassing or they're afraid you'll make the situation worse. Start out by assuring them that you will work with them to resolve this problem and you will not stop until it's resolved, but they need to give you time to help them fix the problem. Let them know that you're not perfect. You can't just make this problem go away, and it may take several attempts for you to help them, but reassure them that you will not give up. Then once you have a good handle on what is happening with your child, seek their permission to go to the other people that will be needed to help resolve it; school resource officers, school officials, and be very clear in your communications. Don't be antagonistic, but be very clear that you do expect this problem to be addressed, and that you want increased supervision for your child and the other children that are bullying them, that you want to be kept informed, and if you need to be, do be persistent. Often bullying situations are complex and they sometimes take a while to resolve. I would not leave my child for any length of time in any situation where they're being severely bullied. Whatever it takes, I would make sure that situation was corrected or remove my child from that environment.
What should I do if my child doesn't feel safe at school?
If your child expresses that they don't feel safe at school, the first thing to do is ask them about it in some detail, listening more than talking. Try to find out very specifically and tangibly what it is that makes them feel unsafe. The next step is to go to the school and assess for yourself the things that your child has told you. Often there are situations that are out of view of adults, if there is truly a safety concern, it may be a lack of supervision, or that type of thing, but I will caution parents that sometimes kids will report safety problems at a school that are really exaggerated or not there, because they don't like the school, or some other type of situation. You want to do your own assessment, fairly objectively, ask questions of the school staff. Find out for yourself what the safety level is. Look around you. What does the school feel like? What does it sound like to you? Does it look clean? Does it look orderly? Do you hear profanity in the hallways? Are the children disruptive, and being left alone and not supervised? Ask yourself, does this look like a properly structured and supervised and calm environment? If you see things that bother you that backs up what your child says, do something about it and get involved. Ask for things to be done. You'll have to decide on the situation, what that is, as far as how appropriate that is. That may involve going beyond the school in some cases, talking to the boss's boss, if you will. Everybody has a boss. When I was a school district police chief, I would tell people, if you're not happy with me, here's who my boss is. Not everyone takes a proactive attitude like that, but as a parent paying tuition or tax payer paying tuition indirectly, you do have a right to some service, and just like any other organization, if you have problems with it, work to resolve it a professional adult manner.
How should I report threats to my child?
First and foremost, make sure you have a good understanding of exactly what the threats are. Talk to your child, listen to your child, get a really clear picture of what was said, what was done, who might other witnesses be - get your facts together. It depends on the type of threat. If it's a severe type of threat, like your child says someone says they're going to physically harm them, or shoot them, or stab them, something extreme like that, you want to make that report to a school resource officer, or police liaison officer if your school has one, or security officer. You of course want to talk to administrators. If it is that type of threat and there are no police personnel on the campus, I would also report to the local police, as well as to school officials. I would go to school officials and ask that police be called to the meeting and make sure that they're brought in if it's that serious a situation.
What should I do if I suspect my child is troubled and potentially violent?
If you're concerned about your child's safety from their own standpoint, if they may be indicating that they have some emotional difficulty, or maybe you see that they're possibly involved with a gang or a group of children that's not safe to be involved with, one of the things is to talk to them. Try to find out more about the situation and get a more accurate assessment. Then, go to your child's school and seek assistance. That assistance may be talking to a school resource officer, for example, if you think your child might be involved with a gang. Maybe even talking to an administrator, maybe a school medical health professional. If your school or school system doesn't have those type of resources, try to find out through the school what resources are available in the community. There may be community mental health resources for example, that you can be referred to, to make contact with and then get their assistance in helping you with your child.
How can parent volunteers help with school safety?
Many school systems utilize parent volunteers for traffic direction and control. It's very important from a safety standpoint. We see many schools that don't have enough staff. I've seen schools have two or three parents in the afternoon, with vests on, to help with managing traffic, providing increased supervision of children at the end of the day, and at the beginning of the day, at bus stops, and at playgrounds. Most often we see parent volunteers serving in a capacity, just to help, say, the front office with staffing. This can be very helpful to give the office staff resources to run the school better, which will improve the core safety. Another way we see parents as an invaluable resource is serving as volunteers on a safety committee, giving their input, giving their suggestions, and giving their time to help make their child's school safer.
How can I equip my college freshman to be safe on campus?
