Same-Sex Marriage Rights
Where is same-sex marriage legal?
The high court in Massachusetts ruled that discrimination against same sex couples was illegal and ordered the state to allow same sex couples to get married. That started on May 24th and since that time there's been full marriage equality in Massachusetts. And, under state law, those people are treated exactly the same. Of course, the federal government still does not recognize those marriages. But, for all state purposes, they are married and have the same dignity and respect that any other married couple has. It's legal in Canada, it's legal in Spain, it's also legal in, I believe, The Netherlands and Sweden. And South Africa gives a recognition that is similar to marriage but it's still unclear if it's exactly the same thing.
Why do some same-sex couples want a marriage, instead of a civil union?
The reasons why same-sex couples want to get married are the same reasons why any couple would want to get married. I think that marriage is the universally recognized way that relationships are acknowledged in our society, and people who want that acknowledgement, and want the rights, benefits and obligations that come with it for being a family, want to get married. I think when a lot of kids are growing up, one of the first things they're asked is, "Who are you going to marry?" When you're three or four years old it becomes a little joke with your grandparents. But that's something that same-sex couples want; they want that respect, they want that relationship acknowledged, and they want to be treated fairly.
What are the reasons some people give for being against gay marriage?
The reasons that you hear from the opponents of marriage equality include that same-sex marriage is against their religion. However, in this context, marriage is a civil contract given by the state government, not a religious document. Religions will remain free to marry whomever they want, even if we have marriage equality. Often, opponents cite religious reasons, and that's the most usual that they cite. Sometimes they'll say that same-sex couples don't procreate, although we know that there are millions of heterosexual couples who are married who can't, or choose not to have children. There are millions of same-sex couples who do have children. It's not a strong argument against same-sex marriage, but that is often the argument you hear. There are people who believe that marriage should just be between a man and a woman, because that's what it's always been in their minds. Of course, there's problems with that argument, because marriage used to, of course, always be between people of the same race. Marriage used to be that a man owned a woman, as if she were his property. Marriage has changed throughout time, but some of those same arguments are the ones that are made about same-sex marriage as well.
What effect would legalizing gay marriage have on our society?
The benefits for society as a whole for recognizing same sex marriage are so many. I mean, from wanting people to be in stable and healthy relationships, wanting people to take responsibility for their families. Through marriage, you're responsible for what happens to your spouse and what happens to your children. Instead of something happening and the government and tax payers having to cover the cost of health care or housing or food, it's actually your responsibility when you get married. So there's the benefit for society as far as the tax payers way of looking at it. There's, another benefit for society is that families are recognized and are together and it strengthens families. When people go through a marriage, they're more likely to work on their relationship and make it work when they have problems. Of course there's a huge benefit for society when people are treated equally. When people feel that they're discriminated against by their government, they have less respect sometimes for themselves and their relationships, and it's bad for everyone when people are not treated equally in our society. So society as a whole just improves and I think, people as a whole become a better group of people when they're treated fairly because then everyones looking at each other as an equal instead of some people looking at each other as superior or inferior.
Why do some states offer marriage alternatives?
The reason some states offer civil unions or domestic partnership is because they're not yet willing to end the discrimination against same-sex couples in the marriage laws. But they also realize that either it's the right thing to do to make sure that those couples have protections so they offer domestic partnership or civil unions, or the highest court in the state has ordered the legislature to do it. So it's either of one of those two reasons. Either one of the branches of the government--the legislature with the executive, the governor, signing it--or the court, has decided that discrimination against same-sex couples and the rights and benefits that go with marriage is not OK. So they've come up with another system to do that, while still keeping the discriminatory nature of not allowing same-sex couples to marry.
What are some alternatives offered by gay rights groups to legal marriage?
The gay rights movement is uniform in it's belief that the only way to deal with the issue of same sex couples is to bring about marriage equality and to end discrimination by our government against same sex couples with regards to marriage laws. That being said, until we reach a point where we can end that discrimination, there's definitely the need for same sex couples to have rights and benefits to protect their families. So, gay rights groups who've advocated for domestic partnership and civil unions at the same time were also advocating for marriage equality, knowing that gay people may have to go through this interim step until they can have full equality through marriage laws.
