Single Parenting And Gender
Should children be raised by a parent of the same gender?
It has been really interesting raising my son. I wasn't sure exactly if I could be male and female for him, and it has been the most amazing experience because I get to raise him to be the kind of man that a girl is going to come up to and say "Oh my god, thank you so much". I am doing it in a way that I am training him to see things from a woman's point of view, and yet be sensitive to him being a young man. It has really been beneficial to both of us. A lot of times people think that they have to raise the same sex, like a mother raises a daughter and a man raises a son. However, I think it is really beneficial to raise the opposite sex. I think it is really important, though, like when a man raises a daughter, to have a strong female role model in the house because girls need it and the same for boys. Boys need the strong male role model. So as long as you understand that and have that base kind of covered, I think it is great to raise the opposite sex child.
What are some tips for a single mom raising a son?
When it comes to being a single mom raising the son, depending upon the age, it's really important to respect him as a boy. Sometimes a mom might look at the son and see the father in him and get really angry or frustrated. It's really important to see the child as the child and not as the ex's child. It just comes out in certain ways, so it's something to look at. Also, it's really exciting to raise a boy as a mom because you get to mould him and help him have good relationships with women. As they get older you also have to respect them and give them space, because soon they want their door shut all the time whereas before it was always open. It's important not to take it personally. It's just a passage of growth.
What are some tips for a single dad raising a daughter?
When it comes to a father raising a daughter, I think it's really important to have a female role model of some type, even if it is a Grandmother, or a family friend, or a big sister, that the daughter can go to when she is too embarrassed, or doesn't feel like she can talk to her Dad about it. Another thing is, men seem to be really overprotective over their daughters, and I think it is important to maybe communicate more before you get strict or want to lock them in the closet. I think it is really important to let them know, maybe with your words, that maybe you are fearful, or you are protecting them, and just keep a communication that is really open.
How should a single mom talk about sex and puberty with her son?
The good news about fifth grade these days is that they have sex education classes, so a single mom doesn't necessarily have to sit down with her son and talk about sex. When I did, my son was like, "I probably know more than you, because in fifth grade they taught me everything". Schools do a good job. If you find that you need to talk about it before fifth grade, or maybe he heard things from a sibling, or a friend that aren't right, or you need to clarify, you can do that either with you and him or maybe get the Dad involved, if that is a possibility, and all you guys talk about it.
How should a single dad talk about sex and puberty with his daughter?
When it comes time to having to talk to your child about sex, as a single parent, a lot of times when it's the opposite sex child you might be uncomfortable and not know what to do. You can talk to a family friend that's of the same sex as your child that maybe available to talk, or a grandparent or grandfather, but the good news is they have an amazing sex education class in the 5th grade that covers more than us adults know. There maybe some questions after the 5th grade class, but usually it is pretty well covered.
How can a single parent find a same sex role model for a child?
When it comes to finding a good role model for your child as a single parent, the first place that I looked was Big Brothers Big Sisters because that organization has been around forever. They screen the people and you get big brothers and big sisters that really want to make a difference in kids lives so, that's a great idea. Other times, coaches, other teams, community centers and wives have people that would be a participant for you child. And, also just pay attention to see who your child gravitates to, to see if they're available to even go to a movie or something to start a relationship with your child.
