Single Parenting And The Ex's New Spouse
Should I allow my child to call my ex's new spouse mom or dad?
When it comes to your ex's new spouse and what your child calls them, that's something that as a family, you have to sit down and talk about. My son uses the term "stepmom", which I can live with. I don't know how I'd feel if my child called the new mom "Mom", because they're not their mom. It's something that as a family unit, you have to sit down and discuss. It's really important to do that.
What if I'm jealous of my ex's new spouse?
When your ex re-marries, if he does, which most men do, and there's a new wife in the picture and you're jealous, which is a very, very normal feeling. The best thing you can do is befriend her because you're two women that are basically co-parenting your child. So, hopefully you can find common ground, look for it and then just stay with that, and be friends with her. If that's not possible, then you do the best you can.
What if my ex's new spouse spoils my child?
When your ex remarries and there is a new wife, there is going to be new rules in the house. Sometimes what will happen, is she will spoil your child. She wants your child to want her, like her, think she's great, and so she'll do things that you don't necessarily think are right. I think it is important to let her know, and if you can't do it on the phone, maybe send an e-mail with a sandwich affect, which is compliment, suggestion, and compliment. So you let her know that you really appreciate how great she is with your child, however a certain thing that she does or the way that she spoils him doesn't really work for you or for the child. You can phrase this however you think is appropriate. Let her know that you are really happy that you guys can communicate like this. So just keep an open communication and be honest. If you have jealously or anger, then just keep it to yourself and you might want to write an e-mail, send it to yourself and review it before sending it.
What if my ex's new spouse talks badly about me?
When your ex remarries and the wife talks badly about you, which happens a lot, that's something you want to be careful of because you don't want to be guilty of that. It just doesn't work. It hurts the child and you'll know either by the way your child acts toward you or treats you, or he'll tell you. A lot of times the child will tell you and you're going to be shocked. What you have to do is talk to the ex or talk to her, and if you can't do it on the phone or in person then send him an email and let him know that you know this is happening and that it's not good for the child, and to please stop.
What if my ex's new spouse mistreats my child?
If there's a situation where your ex's new wife mistreats your child, again, keep a journal with it so you document all the times, and dates, and the situation. Talk to your ex about it, warn him that you'll take some kind of action if it doesn't stop, if it seems to be on-going. And then talk to someone, your attorney or mediator about it, and take action.
How should I handle custody arrangements if my ex remarries?
When a former partner remarries and there is a new situation, especially if they move away, there are different variables that can happen. What you can do is create a new parenting plan with your ex and yourself and have it notarized, and then it gets sent to the court. That is a simple way of doing it if everyone is in agreement. If everyone isn't in agreement you can then go to court and the judge will determine the change of circumstances and what is best for the child. It is always what is best for the child. That is something the parents have to keep in mind. It's not what you want or what you feel you deserve or any anger that takes place, it's what's best for the child.