Stress And Others
How do I ask others for help?
One of the things to manage stress is you have to learn to ask for help. You must not be proud. That is, if you want to be proud, there's plenty of people in the graveyard because they were proud. If you don't want to push yourself into that situation, just remember this: when a friend asks you for help, what do you do? You think, "Oh poor thing, of course I'll help." That's what friends are there for. In face, if you don't allow them to help, they often get very upset about it. I think the first thing you have to do is remember that friendship is two ways, and that if you ask for help, of course you'll help your friend. That's the first part of it, to not be too proud. The second part of it is also seeking professional help. There are times when friends and family, however loving they are, however helpful they are, just won't do it for you. When you recognize it, it's like a car. You don't wait for a car that has fallen completely apart before you take it to a garage. When you start hearing that knocking and you don't know what it is, most of us just take it straight away. That's what you need to do with professional help. When you realize that all the strategies that you're using and the help that you're getting from other people isn't actually working, go and see a professional.
What personality types deal best with stress?
There are some people whose personalities really stress-proof them. They're the ones who are very realistic in their thinking style. They don't make excessive demands, they can say no. They're the sort of person that when they enter a situation, they'll go, "Oh, what's the worst that could happen. Give it a go." And so, on that side, they think clearly. Also physically they take care of themselves. They know that their body is just a machine and if they overwork it, it's going to be a problem. So they eat well, and they know how to do that and they know how to take some exercise or whatever it is that they do. So their personality tends to be what we call a hardy personality. It's not that they don't work; they're not lazy, they're not the sort of people who go, "Oh, I'll just take the afternoon off." But what they do is they have an ability to know their limits.
What personality types deal worst with stress?
There are some personality types that deal extremely badly with stress. For example, if you are a perfectionist type character, if you are somebody who can't say no, and if you are a people pleaser, then you are more than likely going to deal very badly with stress because you will override your physical symptoms. You will believe that anything is possible and that if it isn't happening, it's down to you. We also know, for example, that type A personalities deal very badly with stress. A type A personality is somebody who is very achieving. They want to get the best. They're somebody who doesn't deal with, for example, boredom very well. They're highly competitive, if not with other people, with themselves. They're the sort of person who does go down to the gym and if they don't do the requisite number of press-ups in the right amount of time, they will be upset with themselves. They're the sort of people who naturally have a personality that puts stress on themselves.
How do you tell someone else they are stressed?
If you have a friend or a colleague at work whose stressed, then sometimes it can be really helpful to them to have a quiet word with them. You know, sit down with a cup of coffee and chat, and just talk to them about it and say, "Look, you know I've noticed something recently and I don't know if anything's wrong but you do seem to have an awful lot of pressure." Let them talk to you, and let them explain it to you and I think you have to bring the subject up, but you don't want to say "oh look you're a stress bunny at the moment," because they're likely to get defensive about that. But if you can sit down and show some concern and explain what you've noticed about them and ask them if there's anything you can do, is there something you can do to help. So if you're at work, great - you say "look, is there anything that I could take up at the moment to help out."
How do you tell someone else they are making you stressed?
Can my GP help if I am stressed?
If all of the strategies to handle stress are not working; that is talking to people, looking after yourself, trying to deal with situations, changing the way that you think, and getting help. If none of that is working, then certainly you can go and see your GP. Doctors are used to diagnosing and recognizing stress, and he or she may actually be able to help you. Now, they may be able to do that themselves because they've had stress management, or they may refer you to the counsellor at the GP practice who is also experienced in handling stress. But go and get yourself some help.
