Supporting Your Child's Elementary School Education
How can I get involved in my child's elementary school education?
I think there are a number of important ways that parents can and should get involved in their child's education. The most important way, and really almost the easiest way, is to be involved with your child. Know what your child is doing in school. Pay attention to his or her homework. Keep an eye on it. Help her with it. Know what she's reading. If you can, read the books with her so that you can talk about them with her. A second level is to know the school, to know the teacher. Atleast have the teacher know your face, know that you're around. Let the teacher know that if she wants to speak with you, she can grab you before school or after school. And then the third level is, a lot of parents get involved with parent stuff at school: the PTA or the fundraising or the booster club stuff. For a lot of parents, it's a good way for them to learn about what's going on at the school, and you can gain a little bit of influence within the school so a lot of parents do that as well.
How can I create a "learning-friendly environment" at home?
When parents want to create a learning environment at home, there's a number of steps to do. And one thing is just to make learning part of your everyday life. Talk about things. Ask questions. Encourage your kids to ask questions. When you're just driving down the street, point things out that seem interesting and talk about them. Things that are going on at home, when you're cooking, when you're doing an art project, talk about what's going on and push your children to ask questions and think critically about what they're doing. Make books available. There should be books - whether they're your books or library book - there should always be books that your child can grab and read. And one of the things you want to make sure to make time for is to read to your child or with your child - it's huge. One of the other really important things, and it's a hard thing to do, I think, but children emulate their parents, and I see so many parents who complain about how much TV their children watch, and how little their children read, and parents for them...you get home, and you crash on the couch and you turn on the television, and I think that's a normal response. You're tired, and you just want to come home and relax. But I think it's very hard to push your children to read when you're sitting there watching TV. So, I think making reading a viable option for you and for your kids - for all the adults and all of the children, and I think also making learning something that's just what you do. Counting when you do things. Talking about letters. Talking about science. Talking - "oh there's the moon! When does the moon work? Why is it out? Why does it disappear sometimes?" Those kind of things.
What reference books should I buy for my elementary school student?
Every house should have a dictionary. And I think that's the one thing that we can say you should have, for sure. If you have the internet, it's amazing. You can get rid of, you don't need a whole lot of books. You don't need encyclopedias. You don't necessarily need a lot of things because all of that informatoin is at your fingertips on the internet so that's of way to a kind save shelf space and save some money. I like families to have an atlas. I think looking at maps and being able to place things is really helpful for kids and atlases aren't terribly expensive so that's a great thing to have. I also think almanacs are great things to have. There's lots of little facts and pieces of information in an almanac so when you're child asks you: How big is the United States? or Where do bananas come from? These are the sort of things you can actually look up in an almanac and tell someone pretty quickly and I think it is really nice, although the internet is great, I think it is nice to be able to model for kids that we get information from. Most of the information that we get from books is a little bit richer than we get from the internet, not because the information on the internet isn't rich, but when you search something on the internet it will pinpoint you to exactly the thing that you want to know. And when you read a book you often have to kind of skim through the whole thing and sometimes then you get more infomration that you weren't even looking for but that is really helpful. And so that's one of the bummers about internet searches is that it pulls up the exact paragraph that you're looking for and you don't have to kind of broaden your horizons and see more.
What educational materials are needed for an elementary school student?
I think one of the main things is again, there should definately be books. There should be fiction books and story books, and there should probably also be some kind of non-fiction book. Some things that your child is interested in. So if your child is totally in to dinasaurs, have dinasaur books around. You can go through and do those. Magazines are great, if there's kids magazines. Even if your child just like to look at the pictures, so they always constantly have some new information, and some new questions coming into the house. In terms of actual supplies, pens, paper, pencils, obviously. Rulers, protractors, they'll use protractors as they get older. They'll use compasses, things you use to make circles. They'll use those. There's a huge market in educational toys, so some of the things are real simple. You've got your building blocks, and your legos, and some things where it's not even educational so much as it does force your child to think. And kind of think about the consiquences. So if they build out ward from the bottom, with their blocks they're gonna topple over. So, it allows them to kind of tangibly do some thing. Those kinds of toys are great. Little science tools even if they're not really official. Or really scientific, it gives kids a sense of doing some thing. They can talk about, oh we're digging up a fosil. Even if you're kind of cracking open that little fossil egg. It gives them the excitement of doing some thing that they think is really cool. There's a ton of educational games, and I think some of them are great. Some of the leap frog, and the v-techs, and some of the things where you can read to your child. A child can push little bottons and it will talk. There's these little fridge magnets where you can put up a letter. Every time you put up the letter, it will tell you the letter, and it sings a little song about what sound the letter makes. Those little things really are fun, and it gives little kids a sense of I'm playing, and it's actually they're learing at the same time. That's one of the greatest things I think a parent can do for a child is integrate learning and playing. So the child can't even tell the difference between the two.
What activities can I do with my child to encourage interest in science?
Science is all about questions. It's all about questions and trying to figure out answers. So if you want your child to learn about science, one thing you don't want to do is you don't want to rely on the school to teach them. The science curriculum in a lot of schools is pretty minimal. But, it is a matter of asking questions and encouraging them to ask questions. It's, "Why does the sun go up and down?” “Why did that plant die?” “Why is that dog acting funny?" You know kids have all these questions: "Where does the rain come from?” “Where does the snow come from?” “Why do the lights turn on?" and to the extent that you can break it down for your child, you have all these little learning opportunities. So when they ask you about the lights, if you've got a lightbulb, and you've got a battery, and you've got some wire, you can actually show them how a circuit works and why the lightbulb turns on. And some parents will be able to do that easily, and some parents won't be. But everyone can find their little niche. You know parents who are great at cooking and really know how things go together. "Well how does yeast work?” “Why does the bread go from being all flat to being all puffy?" If you're handy in the garage, you can teach them about electronics. There's all different things. So you want to kind of tap into what you're good at and what you can share. You also want to be willing to look things up with your child. "Well, why does the sun go up and down?” “I don't know but I think we can find out." And so really show your child that being curious is fun and that finding answers is possible and that it's fun.
What activities can I do with my child to encourage interest in math?
I think one of the best ways to encourage interest in math is to show your elementary school child how often you use math in life. Math is one of the harder subjects. It's not a story, it's not a process of discovery; it's a tool. Math really is something that we use. Anytime you're doing math, do it out loud - bringing cookies for the bake sale, how many you need to bring in order to make a profit for the school, etc. Think about math and talk about it. You're trying to figure out how many cupcakes you need for the birthday party, so do it out loud and let your child see that you're using math. You're trying to figure out a sale in the store or which coupon to use. These are things that if you do it out loud, your child can see that you're using math all the time. As they get older, you can even ask them to help you figure out the simpler math problems. Thus, they can see that, "Oh, math may not be my favorite thing in the world, but I'm going to use it so I want to be good at it. I want to be good at figuring out the sale price and I want to be able to do all the things that mom and dad do." If you think about it, even when your child's learning basic counting skills - anything where they roll the die and have to count - that's learning about math. Dominos uses math, too, through recognizing the same number. If you play war with your child, they have to know which number is greater than, which number is less than, and a lot of them have a hard time with that. Basically, think about the things that you do and try to make them age-appropriate for your child. If you can consider what math your child is learning, and turn it into a game, that's a great thing. I let the kids at our learning center play Battleship when they're learning about graphing on a coordinate plane, because they have to go over and up. It's the same process that you do when you're graphing in algebra. It's a matter of being open to thinking that the games your kids are playing might actually enhance their math skills. Encourage them to do that.
What activities can I do with my child to encourage interest in writing?
Some kids love to write and some kids hate to write and it's very interesting splits. The kids who like to write are going to sit down and they're going to write little stories and they're going to be coming to you at age eight telling you that they've written a book. For the ones who don't like to write it's like pulling teeth and it's awful. One thing that I found is for little ones that really don't like to write, a lot of it is the struggle; the physicality of actually writing the letters, that makes them really frustrated and really tired. So, one of the things is to take turns with them a little bit and let them be creative. Show them that they can create a story. They can dictate it to you and you can type it on the computer or you guys can write it out together. Let them see that they have ideas that are interesting, and that when they're on paper they can share them with other people. Then you want to slowly transition them into putting them on the page. For kids who have no trouble with the imagination part but actually still won't write anything, I try to talk to them a lot about the books that they read and how much they like them and the stories that they tell that are really good. I try to encourage them to put them on paper. I also try to back off when they're doing the writing process. I think its important to correct students to work. I think it's important for them to learn to spell and to learn grammar. I don't believe in just "Oh, just write whatever you want, we'll worry about it," but you can worry about it later. So, let them get it on the page and tell them how great it is and how interesting it is, and then sit down with them and say "Ok, how do we make it perfect? How do we get it into shape so that you can turn it in?"
What activities encourage interest in history and social studies?
If you want to encourage your child to want to learn more about history and social studies, remember it's an area where we don't really want to rely on the school too much. They don't have a ton of history or social studies curriculums, especially right now, but there are lots of ways you can get your child interested. One is encourage your child to pick up on cues from around you. You might see a historical building, they might see something in a movie or on TV, they might read something in a book. "What are they talking about? What's going on there? Let's try to figure it out." I pull out maps all the time and try to show kids where things come from or why people in different areas speak different languages. You can show them the paths that settlers and colonists took around the world, which they sometimes find interesting. When you travel be sure to look at historical sights. In LA we have the missions, and that is a really rich part of our history. Even if we go and look at Angel's Flight on Bunker Hill, discussing, "Where did they come from and why did they need this trolley that went up and down the hill?" encourages interest. You can talk about how people lived. A lot of times it helps encourage children's interest if you can relate history to people rather than dates and events. When you travel you want to go to check out those historical sites. Make it fun, make it interesting. If you kid is interested in war, so be it - lots of little boys are. Go to the historical battle sites, try to figure out what happened there and what was going on. Buy the little brochure that you can get at monuments and then when you come home you can revisit it and talk about it. Look at your photos, look up more information and build social and historical interest from there. A lot of kids are really more interested in things that they can picture and actually feel than things that are just abstract. History to many kids is just very abstract and intangible.
What happens during a "parent-teacher conference"?
Parent teacher conferences are one of the few opportunities that parents get to really sit down and talk, one-on-one, with their child's teacher. And usually it's a time for the teacher to let the parent know how the child is progressing, often both in terms of academics and in terms of behavior, and settling into the classroom. And it's also a time when the parent gets to ask questions, whether it's about "I didn't understand this homework assignment or 'why isn't he learning to read when my cousin's kids are learning to read,' or 'what can we do over the summer to help him progress or do better in school next year.' The way parent teacher conferences run often varies by teacher and by parent. Almost every teacher will walk into a parent teacher conference ready to run it, they're not going to rely on a parent to run it. And sometimes it's to their detriment, because they'll come in and they've got a folder of work they want to show you, they've got all this information they want to give the parent, and sometimes the parent has questions, but the parent doesn't speak up because the teacher keeps talking, and the twenty minutes are up and the parent walks out feeling they didn't get their questions answered. And if parents are a little shy, these parent conferences go quickly, so I always encourage parents to go in, a) go in with questions, or whatever they want to know, and to b) indicate to the teacher that they do have questions that they want to ask, whether it's just by having a list out, or by saying, 'I do have a bunch of questions I want to ask you, please tell me what you want to tell me but I have a bunch of questions," just so the teacher doesn't feel that she has to fill up empty space, so that she can get done what she wants to get done and they can move on to the parent's questions.
How can I get the most out of a parent-teacher conference?
For a lot of parents, going into a parent-teacher conference is a little bit intimidating. It's a bit like being on stage. I definitely recommend that parents make lists of the questions that they want to ask at a parent-teacher conference. If they have a particular test or a report or some work that they want to bring in, they should bring it in and they should ask about it. If the elementary school child is learning something that the parent doesn't understand, or would like to be refreshed on, they should bring it to the parent-teacher conference and they shouldn't be afraid to ask. I don't know of any teacher who wouldn't be happy to help a parent become better at helping their children. Whatever the parent wants to know, he or she should come in prepared to ask it. I think that parents should also feel free to come to a parent-teacher conference as a couple, if they think that's be a good idea. If a parent is a little bit shy, or has a difficulty understanding or speaking English, they should bring someone that they trust. The school will provide an interpreter, but bring someone you trust. Bring your sister or bring a friend - whatever you can do to make yourself feel comfortable. The parent-teacher conference is your opportunity to find out what's going on with your child. You want to really take charge of it and use it.
What is a "tutor"?
A tutor is anyone who teaches your child individually. I always think of it as one-on-one. It could be a small group, but the main difference between a tutor and a teacher is a teacher is teaching to a group: they are trying to present information to a group of children and hoping that more of them get it then don't get it. A tutor is the person who is going to tailor that information or lesson particularly to a child. A tutor is able to redo it if the child needs it to be redone or teach it a little differently if that is what the child needs. A tutor can be a professional tutor. It could be a parent or an older sibling. It could be a high school kid from down the street. A tutor is basically anyone who can step in and tailor the information to your child and help them learn it.
How can a tutor help my elementary school child's performance?
Tutors come in handy for a couple of different reasons. Sometimes tutors just act as one more person to present information to your child and support your child's education. Some kids are great at learning in a big setting and picking up information that they need; other kids tend to just day dream straight through group lessons or don't understand at the pace at which a particular teacher is talking. So sometimes a tutor can just kind of bring it back, put the lesson at the right pace and present it in the right way for your particular child. Sometimes a tutor steps in when your child needs help with something that you simply can't help with. For example, if you have fears about math or never learned it well, or, English isn't your first language and you want someone else to come in and do the grammar and the writing with your child. Tutors also play a really interesting role because tutors aren't invested in your child the way you are as a parent. I've had a lot of parents who just say about working with their child, "He screams at me and we end up in a huge fight." The great thing I always tell a parent is, as a tutor, I don't have to have dinner with your child after we work together. I can work, I can push him, he can hate me by the time I leave - I hope he doesn't, but he can. By next week it will be fine. Parents can sit down and have family dinner and talk to him about other things, and not have all of that pressure from the tutoring hanging over their heads. As a tutor, I'm also not sitting there worrying, "Okay, is he going to go to college? Where's he going to go? What's he going to be? Is he going to be just like me or just like my partner?" I just have to focus on the issue at hand. Tutors can come to teach your child minus all the emotional baggage that you bring into the situation when you try to help your child with schoolwork yourself.
How can I encourage school success without applying undue pressure?
A lot of parents feel a lot of pressure to have their kids succeed in school. One of the recommendations that I give to parents is to make sure their attention is focused on the child and not on what you want for your child. We all know that kids don't grow up to be what their parents want them to be, so you have to put those things aside -- whether you want them to be a doctor or take over your business, etc. -- and focus on what your child is doing right now, where they are and how you can help them move from one step to the next. Think, "How can we improve their reading?" Don't stress about SATs yet; don't stress about all of that. Just stress about helping them get from point A to point B in terms of school success. Narrow your focus down so it doesn't put too much pressure on your child - it's a problem, but not a panic. Encourage them to like learning. Encourage them to like the things that they're doing by making it interesting, by talking about it, and try to take some of the pressure off of them. Sometimes kids will be reading a book and it's just a little bit too hard for them. It's fine. Sit down, they read a page and you read a page, you read a paragraph and they read a paragraph. They're still reading, they're still understanding it, you're modeling good reading for them, you're doing it together. That is okay - it's not cheating. You are trying to make learning success a little more accessable for your child. It's also okay to say to your child, "You know what? You just have to do this and I know it's not very fun. This doesn't look very fun to me either, but you just need to do it. It is your job. Get it done and we'll put it away. Your work will be finished and we'll do something fun." I think it helps take pressure off your child and helps kids to acknowledge that not all the work that they do is just riviting and interesting. It's not a farce that we can maintain throughout the entire elementary school years, so admit it. Help them get through it, help them set some small goals for school success. Finish it up right, put it away and then do something fun.
