The Priesthood
What do you do in your average day?
An average day is about prayer and taking time to pray, especially in the morning. We'll gather together the first thing in the morning and we'll pray for about 15 minutes to a half an hour. As religious, we have a common prayer to say together, which we call Morning Prayer. It's about reflecting on the Psalms and the Scripture reading, and any intercessions like bidding prayers for different events that are going to take place during the day or during this week. Normally as a community we would eat and then we would be going about our work. Our work will depend on what we're doing, so if you're a parish ministry your work might be about doing parish stuff, which might be about attending to the mail in the morning and getting sorted with things that might be needing to be sorted out in terms of administration. It might be about a funeral that might come in for that day, so it's about attending and getting ready for the funeral. Or it might be that you heard just last night that someone had died, so it's about trying to make space to go and visit the family. One of our priests who lives here in Birmingham is a chaplain to an educational unit, so he will go off and he will be in that educational unit from about nine until about two or until about three o'clock. His work is about working with the children in that unit and working with the staff. You could have someone who's involved in, say for example, for ourselves, we would be out on the streets. We might be just talking to people as they come in and out. We might be just visiting a group who are meeting. Every day is different, but it's all about what are you engaged in, and what are you involved in. Again, you deal with the unexpected. There might be a caller at the door and they want to talk about their father who might have died two years ago, there might be someone who's turned up and who wants a bus fare. There might be someone who rings you up and says, "I need to talk to someone", so you arrange to meet up with them. The day is very different. No one day is the same, but there is a routine in each day, which is prayer, sharing community life together, relaxing together afterwards, spending a couple of hours talking about what the day has been like, or maybe cooking. If it's your turn to cook you'll have to take some time to do a little bit of shopping and do a bit of cooking. It's the ordinary life of any person, except that our work isn't a nine-to-five job. It could be something that's about two hours in the morning, and then someone else comes in and it could mean the whole day is taken up trying to organize a house or a room for someone because they're stuck, so you're contacting different agencies. It might be about leading a day of prayer for a group. There's various things. You have to take time out to prepare for what the reading of the mass is going to be, because there's a mass celebrated during the day, at the church or privately in your own community chapel. You have to take time for that. There's a lot of preparation time taken in just sitting and reflecting on what are you going to say at a funeral. What are you going to say to a couple who are getting married, at their wedding? You have got to know them in a way that is meaningful for everyone who is there. Also, taking time for myself, "where are you, God, in all this?", so that I'm not doing it because I feel great because I'm doing something wonderful, but because I'm saying, "Lord, what are You asking me in this? How am I being present, and how am I being Your presence in what is happening today?" The prayer time allows us to check in like that. We also end Morning Prayer, and we end with Evening Prayer as a community together. For a priest, we have a private time of prayer which is called the Divine Office. Every priest makes a solemn commitment to pray the office every day. Its structure is with Psalms and readings of Scripture, and then a church father, some wisdom figures in the church who have written something. It's only about a page and a half. Normally if you read through it without thinking you could do it in 10 minutes, and I'm sure there are some times when you just do it in 10 minutes because you had to do it. But actually, there's a phrase or something that comes out and that makes it meaningful for the day. Today, the Divine Office was on Joshua, the book of Joshua, and it was about how God was present with his people as he led them through into different lands. We're going through a process at the moment in terms of our community, we're moving out of one parish and we're handing it back. It's quite a very insecure time for the people, and it was just a sense for me. Just reading it reminded me that God is present. I don't see the Ark of the Convenant that the Jewish people took across the lands, but somehow God is present in my heart. He's present in the community and He's present in the Eucharist. And to trust that I'm not doing this alone, because otherwise I can get very dependent on myself and wanting everything controlled. So it's good.
What are the best things about being a priest?
The best thing I enjoy is when couples come and say, “Father we want to get married.” Firstly, they're sharing with you telling you about their love for each other and secondly they want to make a commitment of that love. I really enjoy it when couples come and tell me this. It doesn't matter if they haven't been part of the church or anything like that. They're sharing with me their love and it's the nearest thing I get to a sense of what love is about. Intimate love between two people and they are willing to make a commitment of it for the rest of their lives. They would be the high points of my life and even in terms of family weddings. I had four weddings this year, hopefully no funerals but had four weddings and they're just wonderful occasions for me. It's just preparing the couple working with them. They share their story of their life and their love. So those are the high points. There's not too many of them, if you can imagine that. You do four weddings a year. And the other stuff are just the ordinary things, when someone comes and talks to you about their life and they share something that's been difficult. As they talk about it, they're sharing something about hope. You're listening to something of hope in their life. That makes me feel good and as missionary Oblates; we call to bring good news to the poor and at the end of it our motto ends by saying, “And the poor hear the good news.” So every night when I go to bed, I ask myself where have I heard good news today. Where have I been good news to someone else? And where has someone else brought good news to me. When I think about it, it's whenever I glimpse hope, in people's life. That even through the midst of all that's going on like recently, there's the tragedy taking place in people's lives who are very faithful people and yet there's a huge hope in them while they're going through this. It will be well and there's a trust. Children, at school when you see all the children around just enjoying themselves, that's great fun. This great life and this great enthusiasm going on. And when teachers are committed to it, like in our School in St. Anne in Birmingham, who are very committed to their teaching. There's a great feeling of being part of a great team and that makes you feel good, and being part of a team is probably important to me. That's why the whole thing of religious life being part of the community is good. Yes, I can get up every morning and feel there is something valuable and worthwhile in what I do.
What are the hardest parts of being a priest?
The hardest part of being a priest, for me, is the fact that I would never have a wife or children. It's become harder for me now than I initially would have, when I joined, especially when I see my own brothers having their wives, their families, and all that. I think that is the hardest part for me, is that I go alone to bed, and that's it. The other parts of priesthood, of priestly life that's difficult, is when there are things that the church says and within myself I struggle to understand it, but I still have to put forward the face or the voice of the church in the public arena. Sometimes I struggle with that, issues that, in terms of personal or in terms of conscience I would have a difficulty with. What I also find difficult in priesthood is when people see my role as a person who represents the church and therefore are pointing at me as the one who's stopping them from doing whatever it is when I'm only becoming a voice, really, at times for the church.
Do people treat you differently because you're a priest?
If they don't know it, no. Initially when you meet them, they're great. Having friends of mine, I'll go and they're having celebrations. They don't really tell people I'm a priest until the conversation starts, “And what do you do?” Otherwise, it's just a normal conversation. They actually double take, but I think it's depending on your personality. People treat you differently initially because they think you have to treat a priest in a very different way. But once you start talking with the person and listening to the person, the conversation rapport develops. They begin to get easy with themselves, and they begin to say, “Oh, you're different maybe to the old priests that I've known”. So initially there is always a difference, yeah. If they know you're a priest they treat you differently, but once you start talking to them they treat you like another person they've met or someone else that they are listening to. Within the Catholic tradition there will be great regard for the priests and the priesthood because in a sense the priest represents Christ and, therefore, when the priest is celebrating Mass, when the priest is doing what is part of his role in the sacraments, there is a great reverence given to the priest because for the people, for the ordinary person he does represent Christ. Therefore, I shouldn't treat it lightly, the fact that I'm a priest. At the same time, I'm a human being, and I just want to be in a relationship that's human with others rather than be elevated or devalued or whatever it is. So, it just depends on the person's reaction and their experience.
Is being a priest a salaried job?
No, it's a stipend that you get. We don't get a salary and the stipends are very small. For example, in the diocese of Birmingham, the annual salary for the priest is 1,200 pounds a year. Saying all that, the priest who is earning only 1,200 pounds a year is living in a parish community. His food, his wellbeing, his heating, his lighting, his lodgings are provided by that community. There are not things that he has to think about, like providing for himself. The community provides that for him. In a sense, because our call is to live a simple life, a lot of stuff is done within that amount. Being a religious order, we share our money together, we pool our money together so that if I need something extra then I can draw out extra. If I don't need it, it's in the kitty for someone else to draw out. In terms of the dioceses and priests, if they're on their own, the salaries will vary. There will be an extra help given to the priest, especially if he needs that help. I don't think any priest should be struggling. I don't think you'll find a poor priest in the Western world. In the other worlds, yes. You will find a poor priest, but in the Western world you'd never find a poor priest. They've been looked after well, but it's nothing like a salary where you can rely on and get a mortgage and finance yourself with other stuff.
Who apart from God is your boss?
It depends. Ultimately, the pope is the supreme authority in the church. For the dioceasan priests, firstly it's your bishop, your local bishop, and then, in terms of religious priests, myself. As a member of the religious order, it's my provincial, who has responsibility for the area in which I live. I live in the Anglo-Irish province of the missionary oblates, so he's responsible for that area. I'm responsible to him, ultimately, in how I am as a priest, in what I do and how I minister. I'm also responsible to my fellow brothers, in the order. Within the oblates we have a structure above the provincials. You could say there is another structure that looks at what our mission is about in this world, and we have a superior general, as we call him, who is appointed to oversee the whole of our congregation. His main role is to keep the charisma and the spirit of the congregation alive so that our mission is reflecting what we are about. It's reflecting the person who founded us - St. Eugene de Mazenod - and allowing that vision of Eugene de Mazenod to be lived out today.
Do you get time off?
Yes, like any other person we need to have time off to recharge ourselves. As a religious community, in our province we take four weeks from the summer and then we take a week, either at Christmas or Easter. There's always a few days that we're meant to take a retreat. We do a five to eight day retreat every year, and that's to recharge our batteries and to make sure that we're focused on God. To tune into my energies coming from God in order that for the year that unfolds I can work out of that energy, that, to set the balance right. In a sense, it's like looking at your map and getting your coordinates right again, knowing where you are so that you can go in a direction that you want to move in. There's good restful periods, definitely. If a priest needs rest, the Bishop or the local superior will always help him. Some priests tend to burn out because they feel they can't leave their people, their congregations, and their parishes because they're very much needed, and it's true that they're needed. If a priest can't or hasn't got the resources to give, he's just going to burn himself out. There's much more of an awareness now of needing to take time, needing to recharge our own batteries, and needing to relax with our own families and friends in order for us to be better serving, and being a presence in those who need and to a community in need.
Do you get to choose where you work?
As missionary oblates, I give the yes to go wherever I am asked to go. I have to say yes to that. But I don't choose where I want to be. I would be told. For example, when I was in Dublin the provincial came and said to me that he would be considering me for Edinburgh as a place after I get ordained. I was really surprised, I don't know Edinburgh, I've never been there. But I went there. And after a year and a half, he said, "actually we need you in Kilbourne, in London, will you go there?" And I said, "well, you know what the need is, you see a better picture than I do, if you think so, I'll go." But I've only been a short time here. I'd like to stay a few more years here, just to get my feet wet really." He convinced me that there is a real urgency and a need in Kilbourne, and would I respond to that. And ultimately, I would say yes, having discerned it and thought about it. My provincial, who is my superior, who in a way of speaking, God is speaking through him, to me, about where he wants me at this time, and I have to pay attention to that.
Can priests retire?
Priests are always priests. Once the bishop ordains a man by saying the prayer of consequention, he becomes a priest and lives as a priest for his entire life. Even though he stops practising as a priest after a time period, he still is a priest.
When can you retire?
Are funerals hard to deal with?
Funerals are always hard. Dealing with people who are grieving is difficult because when they've loved there's always going to be pain, so it's about waiting with people. I do find funerals of young people the most difficult, especially in cases of suicide, where the family feel hurt and angry and carry a lot of guilt. I have found myself unable to bring up my own resources; that's when I find myself dependent on God, because I don't know how to tell a mother whose 14-year-old daughter has died, who she had kissed goodbye to that morning going to school, and then gets a phone call to say the daughter's in hospital, and then she's dead within a matter of hours after that. I don't know what to say to a mother who's already lost an infant at a young age, and then loses a son in his 40's, and she's grieving. I really don't know, and because I don't know, rather than doing pious stuff, and all I can say is, "you're in pain, you're in pain," and be with them in that pain. My hope is that my presence and my commitment as a priest and as a person of faith will be an assurance to them that God hasn't left them, even though it feels like God's abandoned them. That's where I say, "God, I don't know what I'm doing here, but I'm doing it for You. I hope you're able to use me; work through me here." Quite a few times I've had to do that. It's better than becoming pious and saying that you'll see your daughter afterwards or something like that. The difficulty I find is that I haven't been through a person bereavement, in terms of my own parents or siblings or something like that, and so I have to rely on a lot of intuition. It would be false for me to say I understand what you're going through. But I can bring experiences of where there has been, because we love and we've experienced pain, so I bring that feeling into situations.
