Top 10 Answers To Your Kid's Toughest Questions
Why is the sky blue?
Your children may ask you why the sky is blue depending on various reasons of what they are learning in school, where they are at cognitively, what they are seeing on television, or anything that exposes them to science or the sky. Depending on the age of your child, you are going to answer with an age appropriate honest answer. What I would say is, "Honey, the sky is blue because that is the beautiful color God has given us when the weather is beautiful." If you have an older child and they want to go deeper into the scientific reason, then that is a great experience to work together, to go find the answer out.
Why is my pet dead?
When your child asks you why your pet is dead, you've got to understand cognitively where your child is and what they will be able to understand. Age-appropriate honesty is the place to start, but you must be honest. They've either gone to heaven, or they went to sleep for a long time, or if it's an older child, they have died and their heart has stopped beating. You can go into those scientific reasons and understandings, and work through it together to find more answers.
Why is that person different?
Children ask many different questions about people. They want to know why people have black hair or blonde hair or why they're skinny or fat, or why they're dark or they're white. They're all great questions. Always empower your child to be inquisitive about the differences of people, and show them that those differences are good things. They make us strong, and they pull us together, but they're all good things and they're all good questions.
How come daddy and mommy don't live together?
When your child asks you why daddy and mommy don't live together, please remember to be as honest as you can, and age appropriately. They need to know why, or they wouldn't be asking. They also need to know, most importantly, that it has nothing to do with them and that mommy and daddy will always love them as much as they have loved them from the very beginning of time. It is important to empower your child to know that they are not in the middle of a conflict, and that the issue of loving and not loving is not anything to do with them. It's not about them, but about mommy and daddy. Ensure them of the stability and safety that they are looking for, and that mommy and daddy will always be there to love them.
Are you ever going to die?
When your child asks you if you're ever going to die, it's perfectly fine to be open and honest and say yes, because in reality, yes, everyone will die. It's the question of when, is really what your child is asking you, so being appropriate and honest is the answer. So, "Yes, I will die at some point, but it won't be for a very long time, and until then, I'll be here loving you and enjoying life with you."
What happens after you die?
If your child asks you, "Mommy, daddy, what happens after you die?", the answer that you give your child should incorporate your religious beliefs, your ethical beliefs, whatever it is that you take into account to do that. You give that answer based on where your child is, but again remember to please be honest with your child appropriately. After that, they'll ask questions based on what it is that they don't understand or where they're coming from. For example, if your five year old says "Daddy, what happens after you die?", depending on who you are in your family, you may say, "Well, you fall asleep for a very long time and your soul flies out of your body and goes to be with grandma, grandpa, and all of our dogs that have passed on, and our birds, so that everyone's living together in an area where you can't see them now. But they're watching down on us and they're making sure that we're happy". Based on who you are and what you believe in, that's how you would answer it.
What does adopted mean?
When your child asks you what does adopted mean, your answer will be as open and as honest as you can be, based on their developmental abilities, but you want to be explaining to them that a child is adopted into a family because they need to be loved and the family wants to love that child. The most important thing about any child or any parent or any family make-up is about loving each other and being a family. Taking a child that doesn't naturally come from that woman in that family and bringing that child in is the actual technical answer of adopted, but it's really about focusing on your child, for your child about love and family. For example, you would say "Johnny, Sarah was adopted and she is your sister, but she didn't come from me, we still love her the same, she had a different mom who gave birth to her but she is now part of our family." Be open and honest, and really focus on love and connection and family.
Why won't the other kids let me play with them?
When your child asks you, "Mom, Dad, why won't the other children allow me play with them?" It's a great opportunity for you to step back and take a look, because your natural instinct is going to be protective of your child and say, "Who wouldn't let you play with them?" and "How dare they let that happen to my baby!" Really, you want to try not to go there. You want to try to do two things: the first thing is to allow your child to talk to you, talk about their feelings, and the context that it happened in. Were they sad? Were they upset? Did they get an adult? The second step of that process is that you want to look at yourself, and say, "Why am I ready to react that way?" "Why do I feel the need to protect my child?" "Is it something going on inside of me that I need to hold back about and understand before I let it out, and show my child that I am ready to go?" You want your child to emote. You want your child to tell you about it. You want to end it up, and wrap it up for your child by saying, "Always get a teacher to help you." and "These things will happen, but they will go away and it is not about you."
Why do we eat animals?
Your child may say to you, "Mommy, daddy, why do we eat animals?". It is a very tough thing to answer, especially for a five year old. The best way to approach it is from a global answer. We eat animals because that is the way it has always been since a long time ago in history. If there is more of an answer that the child wants and the child is asking more questions, then you can go on an exploration together about it. In general, their real concern is what you want to understand. Why do we not eat the dog, but we eat a cow? We just had a chicken's hatchling last week and we are eating chicken tonight. It is scary to me, and it is upsetting to me. They are the real issues that your child is trying to get at. You can answer that from a perspective of trying to calm their fears and trying to give them a general understanding that this is the way it has progressed, and we can get more information. Also, remind your child that some people choose not to eat animals, and they eat only vegetables or not meat products and they get their nutrition that way.
Why does Johnny have two mommies?
Your child may ask you many different questions based on families that they come into contact with, either at the playground, school or whatever. "Why does my friend Sarah have two moms?", "Why does my friend Johnny have two dads?", "Why does my friend Sam only have a dad?", and similar questions. Also "Why does Johnny live with his grandmother? and Where are his parents?" You should explain to your child, knowing that your child is trying to make sense out of the difference between his family make-up and someone else's, that every family is different but in the end it's all about love, safety, and the family. It doesn't necessarily matter whether you have one dad, two moms, a green dad or a purple mom, because everybody is there together to love each other and as long as you have a family that's the most important thing.
