Weddings And Children
Should I have children at my wedding?
When I was younger, I thought that children shouldn't go to weddings because they were very adult events. I think as I get older, I see weddings as being part of the life cycle and I like seeing children there. I also think it's a very personal decision for the bride and groom. Some families are very child oriented; they have a lot of young children in the family with other siblings or cousins and they want those children to be at the wedding. Other brides and grooms say, "No, this is very much an adult event. I don't want the children there."
If children are in the wedding, how should I plan differently?
If you have children at the wedding, the first consideration is: how many? If there is one flower girl and one ring bearer, you don't have to make a whole lot of special arrangements. If you are going to feed them, your caterer or your venue is certainly going to provide a child's meal for them; there won't be any problem. You might want to think about babysitting. Do you need to have a babysitter? Do you have a lot of children? Do you need to provide a separate room for them, maybe where they could watch movies and play games? Do you need more than one babysitter? Are they babies? Do they actually need to go to a room where they can sleep after the wedding? Those are all the things you need to think about ahead of time, and then figure out what kind of help you need to hire to take care of those kids. Children should have someone to watch them and I don't know if you can always expect or want the parents to, because the parents are there to enjoy your wedding as well and they want to have a good time. Their children are there and it's really nice if you can provide some help for watching those kids
How can I make children in my wedding party go down the aisle more easily?
If children absolutely don't want to go down the aisle at a wedding, don't force them. We sure don't want a child dragged down the aisle kicking and screaming. That ruins the wedding. Sometimes what we do with a little one is we have them in the back, we have mom up in the front row, and we'll find out what the kids favorite thing is. If it's M&Ms, we'll say to the kid, "Now go to Mommy. She has your M&Ms." If we do that they'll pretty much go down the aisle. With very young children, if they're really little, we have an older child and sometimes they get wheeled down the aisle in a wagon. We put the kid in a wagon and the older kid pulls them down the aisle and it's very cute and they're very adorable and they steal the show. The other thing we can do to get them to go down the aisle is sometimes we walk the younger child with an older child. There are different techniques, but again, the bottom line is, if you can't get the kid down the aisle at a wedding then you can't get them down, so you leave them alone.
Should I ever force a child down the wedding aisle?
You should never force a child down the wedding aisle. How sad it would be at your wedding to have some kid being dragged down the aisle kicking and screaming; it doesn't make sense. Sometimes the mom will actually come back and pick them up and carry them down, if we need to do that. If we can get them to walk down, it's fine, but if they bulk they bulk. We just pass on it and move right along. It's a much better situation.
What are the best activities for children to perform at weddings?
The best activities for children to perform at the wedding are generally flower girl and ring bearer. They tend to do well in those spots, and if for some reason they're very young and they choose to not go down the aisle, it's not a great trauma. They just don't go down the aisle.
How can I make children from previous marriages feel more comfortable at my wedding?
When you have a wedding situation where you have a child from a previous marriage, one or more, you can include them in the wedding depending on their age. If the children are a little bit older, you might want to have them be a junior usher, a junior bridesmaid, or something like that. If they're younger, they could fulfill the position of ring bearer or flower girl. I have seen several weddings where we've included the children in the vows. The parents have actually had special, separate vows to their children where they are vowing to take care of them, to bring them into this new marriage, to make them part of the family, so that it becomes a unified family group.