Your Child And Bullying
What is bullying?
Bullying is when an individual (or a group of individuals) intentionally use their power over another to get what they want, and this may involve physical, verbal, or emotional mistreatment.
What are the effects of bullying on a child?
The effects of bullying can be extremely profound. It depends on how long the bullying has been going on and at what point they've been able to actually ask for some help and share their unhappiness about the situation. In terms of what you might see in your child, you might see them becoming more withdrawn or even more acting out. Every child is different in terms of how they cope with the situation, but they in general are going to be much less happy than usual. You might see some effects in their academic progress or even their physical development. It may affect their appetite, it may affect the way they look after themselves physically, and it may affect their social behavior. There are lots of manifestations, but go on the gut level feeling you have as a parent and your own instinct that all is not right.
My child is being bullied, what can I do?
First and foremost, get the facts clear from your child. Give them the opportunity to share with you what's going on. And, very importantly, ask them how they think things should change, and what they would like to be happening instead. They might not have any ideas, but you'll get some clues from their answer, and that will actually inform you what you do next. If it's as simple as "I want this to stop," because they're receiving poor treatment from other children, and if it's in the school context, it's a very good idea to communicate with the school in a sensitive way so that it doesn't in any way highlight the child's problems. But in a constructive way, so that the school can take on some work, perhaps at the whole school or even at the class level.
My child is being bullied at school, should I report it to the school?
First of all, get clear with your child what's going on. And you may be able to address this through a fairly informal discussion with a key adult. If it's primary, the class teacher; if it's secondary, the phone tutor. If this actually is done and the bulling doesn't stop, it may necessitate taking it to a higher level. It might also be a situation where some active support from other members of the family are helpful. And, the more information you have to share with the school, the more they're going to be able to address the situation and hopefully produce some positive change.
My child's school isn't taking action against bullies, what should I do?
This where you actually have to employ a bit of victim strategy itself, in other words, the broken record technique. If no action is being taken, you are going to have to repeat your request, and perhaps repeat it to somebody who is in more of a position to hear it, so it is not a question of you leaving it as is and hoping for the best. You actually do need to be proactive here, and to communicate clearly and even better, and perhaps select who you commuicate to in such a way that action is more likely to happen.
I think my child is being bullied by their teacher, what should I do?
First of all, get clear with your child what's going on. You may be able to address this through a fairly informal discussion with a key adult. Probably, if it's primary, the class teacher, if it's secondary, the forum tutor. If this actually isn't acted on and the bullying doesn't stop, it may necessitate taking it to a higher level. It might also be a situation where some active support from other members of the family are helpful. The more information you have to share with the school, the more they're going to be able to address the situation and hopefully produce some positive change.
My child doesn't want me to report the bullying to the school, what should I do?
Act against Anti-bullying. Stop anti-bullying in schools by speaking out or reporting the case to the concerned personal. Bringing an act against anti-bullying in the schools is the only way of eradicating it.
Should I confront my child's bully?
This isn't generally a good idea. Obviously, if you have a personal relationship with the bully, it puts a different complexion on the matter. But say it's a child at your child's school. The best thing always is to go to school's staff and take your concerns to them for it's their job to actually manage the situation.
Should I confront the parents of my child's bully?
Confrontation of parents is not generally a good idea and it can actually result in a very difficult all out conflict situation in the school context. This again is something you should ask school staff to mediate into and manage.
My child has been accused of bullying at school, what should I do?
You need to understand exactly what this bullying is said to consist of, and you need to get your child's perspective on it. There's two possibilities: one is that it's unfounded, in which case you need to put the accuser right. But if it is founded, you need to understand, you need to research with your child what the motivation for this bullying is. There will be some kind of unmet need on your child's part that explains this behavior. If they need to actually exert their power over another individual for whatever reason, there will be a good reason for them, and it's possible to address that in other ways.
